BREAKING: Cortez Columbus dies in failed rocket launch

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BREAKING: Cortez Columbus dies in failed rocket launch

Postby RevolutionJones » Tue May 08, 2018 2:36 am

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BREAKING: Cortez Columbus dies in failed rocket launch
Report by Jeffrey Grey

As first reported by Scott Lupinacci of the Baumer Network, XWA regular Cortez Columbus died in his native Spain yesterday evening as the result of a failed attempt to launch a rocket into space.

According to eyewitness accounts, Columbus, a hated fixture of the Mexican independent scene long before his yearlong run in XWA, climbed into a small homemade rocket, which appeared to be built for one person, and attempted to launch it into outer space. Presumably, he was operating under the impression that the Championship Wrestling Coalition's Moon territory, where Columbus had signed a contract earlier in the year, was still active and that he was scheduled to appear on their next show. It is unclear how he reached this conclusion, since CWC Moon infamously closed before even posting its first card. Given the rocket's clearly-makeshift appearance, and that Columbus had no known background in aerospace engineering, it was all too obvious that this would not go smoothly, and when Columbus attempted to take off, the rocket immediately exploded, killing him in the process and leaving no remains behind, either of himself or the rocket.

Despite the obvious hazards of the scenario, the news still comes as a surprise to the wrestling community, thanks to Columbus's infamous knack for surviving the many bizarre, catastrophic events that happened around him completely unscathed. But thanks to his reputation as a delusional, egomaniacal racist who alienated virtually everyone he met, his death was met with mockery when Lupinacci broke the story over Twitter, with one commenter going so far as to call Columbus an "idiot." Even the newly-returning Austin Carter's response could not be verified as a genuine message of condolences.

Columbus's highlights in XWA are few and far between. His only win came in his May 2017 debut at an XWA Massacre taping on Xtreme Cruiselines, where he defeated "The Revolution" A.J. Morales thanks to interference from Raine and Serena Maxwell, only for Columbus to anger Raine so much that Raine threw Columbus overboard into open Pacific waters. Despite this, Columbus was on a path to something that wasn't quite failure prior to his sudden death, with a short-lived appearance in the second annual Tag Team Classic and a failed attempt to challenge Morales for the XWA Hardcore Championship, which Morales foiled with one kick and refused to legitimize with a pin attempt.

Columbus's age and real identity were not public knowledge at the time of his death, nor was there any trace of him left that could have helped identify him. In the unlikely event that someone steps forward to claim him as family, this article will be updated accordingly.
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