XWA Massacre #57: The Pitch

Massacre/Supershow promo section! Grab the mic, take to the ring and drop the pipebomb on other XWA wrestlers here! Also the place for interview and backstage segments that are part of a show. Members are free to comment and give feedback on promos when they get posted. Note: You do not need to have signed up for a match on the current show to post a promo.
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XWA Massacre #57: The Pitch

Postby Caleb » Fri Jul 31, 2020 8:34 am

The live cameras pan to the back following Jared Jerusalem’s shellacking of Joey Jobberton. With two matches down, it is roughly the halfway point of the show. And the camera’s view is the first spotting of Razor Xtreme tonight, as he marches down a backstage hallway on a clear mission, wearing his brand new black and gold fur coat that goes all the way down to his ankles and a pair of red and gold sunglasses, even though he is in doors. Despite the live audience being far away, the boos at the mere sight of this man are enough to be audible to the at-home audience. He stops at a door with a nameplate that reads...

“XWA Owner: Bella Quinn”

Razor has officially arrived at his destination as he knocks on her door, jittering around in anxiety. Giving her barely two seconds to respond, the hot-head ‘Queen of Kings’ huffs like a bratty child and bangs his fist on her door again, louder. Still no response. Tired to waiting around any longer, Razor bursts through the door to take matters into his own hands, as Bella is shown sitting at her desk on her phone, stopping in mid-sentence to look over at Razor Xtreme standing in her doorway with clenched fists. After a good three seconds of silence, Bella addresses the person on the other end of her line.

Bella Quinn: “Hey, hold on a few minutes. I have some business to attend to. I’ll call you back soon.”

Bella hangs up her phone and shoots Razor a look of clear disgruntlement, wondering how he could have the nerve to just barge in her office without permission. Throwing her arms out to the side with her palms spread open, she lets Razor know she isn’t pleased.

Bella Quinn: “Please come in, Mr. Xtreme, I would love to postpone a call with my mother to have a pouting session with you.”

Razor coldly smiles back towards her. Then he speaks with his obnoxious inflection where he attempts to sound like the Queen of Britain, or a stuck up elitist.

Razor Xtreme: “I don’t really care about your conversation with your mom. Your personal problems are none of my business.”

Ouch. Great opening pitch for your boss, Razor.

Razor Xtreme: ”What I do care about is this upcoming tag team tournament that was recently announced.”

The XWA Owner closes her eyes and exhales deeply. She had not talked to her mother in four weeks. And Razor decides to interrupt it two minutes in so he can bitch about the tag team tournament? She’s not in the mood.

Bella Quinn: “Yep, you’re correct. It sure was announced. There’s one spot open so if you have a partner it’s yours.”

Razor Xtreme: ”Excellent. You see, I have the PERFECT partner in mind! Surely you couldn't have forgotten about my wonderful and loyal servant Maddox Paine! No no, how could you? You hired him, afterall. That said, unfortunately Maddox hurt himself while vacationing in Malibu. Can you believe he tried lifting someone's car to impress a woman? Men, right?! The doctor says should be good to go in a few weeks, but he won't be able to make the first round of the tournament!”

Bella frowns at the preposterous notion that this statement has even the slightest bit of credibility.

Bella Quinn: “Well, that sure is an unfortunate situation. If there are any other current employees you would like to team with instead, work something out with them and let me know. Thank y-”

Razor Xtreme: ”Now, now. Let’s not be so hasty. I may have a solution that works for all parties.”

You have got to be fucking kidding. He is still in her office being a nuisance about something she has made her mind up on. Exasperated, she sighs and gives the floor to Razor.

Bella Quinn: “Alright, Razor, let’s hear it. What do *you* think is the right way to go about this situation?”

Razor Xtreme: ”Well you see, Maddox will be perfectly fine to go by the final round! And seeing as anyone can just demand what they want and get it around here, I demand you give me a bye week! Give me the first round off, have the six losers who think they have a chance go at it, and then I can crush them in the finals with Maddox!”

Razor stands confidently, with a smirk on his face, believing he has made an argument compelling enough that just may work. I mean, this place just hands out Supreme Championship matches to anyone who asks for them enough times on Twitter, maybe this will work. Quinn, on the other hand, raises an eyebrow and stares back at Razor Xtreme, in awe that he believes his pitch could possibly work.

Bella Quinn: “Okay... Well then, uhhh- Wow, where to begin… First and foremost, no. You are not going to get a first round bye while everybody else competes. You have to EARN championship matches around here.”

As Bella pauses for a brief second, a graphic pops up across the bottom of the screen, advertising Lord of The Ring’s Supreme Championship match between Albion Gale and Mark Storey.

Bella Quinn: “Besides, that would give an odd amount of teams in the first round-”

Razor Xtreme: ”Ahh, such a simple mind. I already have that figured out, my dear. I would never want to take the lessers' chance away to earn their shot. So put them all in a triple threat for round one! Sounds generous if you ask me. They can have their pathetic shot in a three corners tag match, and then they can have the great honor of facing ME in the finals!”

Clearly fed up with Razor’s ideas that were doomed from the start, Bella begins to get more firm and raise her voice.

Bella Quinn: “NO. I thought I made myself VERY clear. You are not going to ‘rest’ your way to the finals. You are being given the same opportunity as everybody else. If you ask me about a bye anymore, you are no longer allowed to compete in this tournament. Otherwise, find a partner, or don’t, I don’t really care. Just make a decision and stop wasting my time. ”

This strikes a bit of fear in Razor. There are not too many people in the Battle Zone that he has befriended. He tries to think of some names but no good, available names come to mind. He begins to wonder if Bella just doesn't think his heels are good enough.

Razor Xtreme: "Surely you mustn't pretend like my idea isn't excellent! What's wrong with you?! Plus, there are no other options for me. No one else is worthy of teaming with me, they couldn't keep up!"

Bella Quinn: “Well, if you are in this tournament you will be competing in the first round and you will need a partner alongside you. No exceptions.”

Razor Xtreme: ”Really?! I DARE you to find someone who is even remotely on my level of competition around this heap. Joey Miles is already taken, unfortunately, and there are very few others around here who would even be remotely worthy! You couldn't think of one if you tried!”

The XWA Owner, still annoyed, thinks for a moment and then gets a large smile on her face. Without responding to Razor, she grabs her phone and starts to dial it. The Lord of the Ring semi-finalist doesn’t look too pleased, snarling at Bella ignoring him.

Razor Xtreme: ”Excuse me?! What are you doing? Your mommy can wait, I wasn’t done talking to you and I'm far more important than that old hag!”

Still ignoring him, Bella continues to let her phone ring until finally somebody on the other end picks up.

Bella Quinn: “Hey there. It’s Bella… I’m fine. If my memory serves, you were interested in the tag team championship tournament but were still in need of a partner, correct?”

There is a slight pause while Bella awaits an answer, as Razor desperately wonders who it is she’s talking to.

Bella Quinn: “Excellent. I have somebody else looking for a partner and I think the entire XWA BattleZone would love to see two of you teaming up.”

The anticipation is killing ‘The Queen of Kings’ who still has no clue who Bella is talking to on the other line.

Bella Quinn: “Okay, then it’s all set. I’m making it official. Your tag team partner for the tournament is Razor Xtreme!”

”WHAT THE FUCK?!” can loudly be heard through the phone as Bella quickly cringes and moves the phone away from her ear. Razor is wide-eyed, getting the sense that his new partner isn’t the biggest fan of his. Bella slowly hangs up after a few seconds and turns her attention back to her desk, and begins to start signing some paperwork, while Razor gazes at her in exasperation, mouth dropped as far as his jaw will allow. The XWA Owner continues signing some papers for a few seconds before looking up to see Razor still standing there.

Bella Quinn: “My God, you still haven’t left?”

’The Best of All Time’ can’t take it any longer.

Razor Xtreme: ”I'll leave when I get what I want. Who the HELL is my partner?”

Bella Quinn: “Oh! Right, that. Well. It’s a man you know pretty well, your chemistry could be off the charts-”

Razor Xtreme: ”Who. The hell. Is it?”

At first, Quinn squints her eyes having once again been disrespected. The eye squint slowly turns to a big grin though as she remembers she already won this exchange half a minute ago.

Bella Quinn: “Congratulations on your new partner. Best of luck to you and Mr. Spires.”

Razor’s jaw drops, somehow, even lower than before as he rips off his sunglasses and throws them on Bella’s desk in anger, revealing a crazed look in his eyes as he hyperventilates immediately at this news.

Razor Xtreme: ”YOU MUST BE JOKING! What's wrong with you?! Is this your idea of a sick joke? You're crossing a line here, Quinn! That wild animal nearly beat me to death like the disgusting savage he is! I never even want to step into a ring with him again, how DARE YOU even THINK that he'd be worthy to be my -”

Quinn slams her fists down on her desk to cut Razor Xtreme off, not ready to hear another second of his bitching.

Bella Quinn: “RAZOR. Listen to me right now. My mind is made up. There is no use pleading your case. If you want to discuss this further, find your new partner. But I am done talking to you. Get the hell out of my office and don’t come back until you have something important to bring to my attention.”

Razor's gaze becomes one of hatred and malice. His inflection almost entirely goes away as he threateningly utters the words:

Razor Xtreme: "I warn you Ms. Quinn. Don't continue to get in my way. You'll regret it."

Disgruntled, he turns to leave without causing a scene, but makes sure to slam the door as hard as he can on the way out. Huffing and puffing, probably fading in and out of consciousness upon the news that was just broken to him, Razor tries to get his mind straight and angrily seek out his new tag team partner, unsure of his intentions if he does happen to find him. Given it could take a couple minutes to locate his new BFF, the camera crew takes a hint and cuts to commercial break.

pt. 1/2
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Re: XWA Massacre #57: The Pitch

Postby DaveyBoy » Fri Jul 31, 2020 9:42 pm

I really liked this promo, from top to bottom. I said this in the previous Razor promo, but I'll say it again; the Razor Xtreme character is awesome in 2020 and he is oozing that hateable factor. The fact he's described as being like the Queen of England, I found hilarious (for obvious reasons xD). Everything he does is just utterly unbearable. He went into Bella's office without really having a hope in hell of getting what he wanted, yet he did anyway, because he's an ass...and ended up with something he completely didn't want, which is just classic heel material. The descriptions between the dialogue portions, were spot on too, and brought the situation to life.

Caleb freaking the hell out on the other end of the phone, was the cherry on top of the promo, honestly! I can't wait to read his reaction to all this and you two are going to make for some great reading, in the coming month or so, during the tag tourney I can tell as I know fine well Caleb Spires and Razor Xtreme do not get along.

Really looking forward to the team up! Keep it going!
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Re: XWA Massacre #57: The Pitch

Postby Caleb » Sat Aug 01, 2020 1:00 am

pt. 2/2

The commercial break ends and we pick up right where we left off, with Razor Xtreme marching through the backstage halls of the BattleZone, trying to find his new ‘partner’ and have a chat with him. Suddenly, he realizes where to find him. The only other place you would expect to find somebody who just competed in a TLC match; the trainer’s office. Razor’s eyes light up as he navigates his way down the hall and pushes the training room door open to find an agitated Spires kicking a trash can. He is alone in the room, as the medical trainers are making their way to ringside for the upcoming match. As soon as Spires whips around and sees Razor standing in the doorway, he begins fuming. He nearly opens his mouth, but Razor cuts him off, determined to get the first word.

Razor Xtreme: "Listen up, Spires! ...wait, wait, wait. First off, have you had your rabies shot?! I'd rather not get too close to you right now if you're still untamed."

Spires, filled with rage and hardly able to control himself, advances forward and gets merely a few inches from his longtime foe’s face as Razor takes a precautionary couple steps back.

Caleb Spires: "Ohhh boy, you have a lot of nerve coming in here talking like that. I don’t give a damn what Bella says, you are NOT going to be my partner."

Razor chuckles, trying to portray an image of cool, calm, and collected. When inside he is anything but.

Razor Xtreme: "Listen, mutt. I don't want to be your partner any more than you want to be mine. I am a person of high esteem, you're a savage rat who belongs in the sewers! You're not WORTHY of being my partner, Spires. So perhaps we CAN work together, to find a way and break this little forced tag team."

Spires lets out a slight angry chuckle as he tries to control his breathing, his heart racing and right hand curled up in a fist.

Caleb Spires: “Whoa, whoa, whoa. As far as breaking up the team, I can absolutely get behind that. But not worthy of being YOUR partner? You can’t be serious. You’ve spent your entire career attempting to sniff my coattails, and you’ve never even come close. Bella matching me up with...”


Caleb Spires: "...Razor Xtreme? What a fucking insult."

Razor becomes angry upon hearing those words.

Razor Xtreme: "Excuse me?! Are you kidding me, or yourself? What a ridiculous notion. Sniffing your coattails?! You only came back to this place because I opened the door for you to! You're nothing compared to me, Caleb. And you're delusional if you think you're anything but a washed up has been attempting to use my name to keep yourself relevant! I know you'd love NOTHING more than for us to be a team, because then I could carry you to the tag team championships while you sit back and hog all the glory - as you always have!"

‘The Elite One’ is taken back, astounded by the record-breaking amount of wrong things Razor could possibly utter in one tirade. His adrenaline is still pumping, but slowing down and allowing Caleb to get a better control of his emotions.

Caleb Spires: “Look. I hate you, Razor. I absolutely hate your guts. If I made a list of my top 1 most hated people, you would probably make the cut. And while— by the way, your face is looking much better now.”

Razor scowls and rolls his eyes.

Caleb Spires: “While you may be trying to fool yourself right now that you’re somehow better than the man who nearly maimed you a month back, nobody else in this arena is fooled.”

Razor Xtreme: "Oh please. Beating someone in a nasty street fight is hardly proof of anything! Any brainless idiot could beat someone with a stick. You accomplished nothing except prove to everyone that you're a wild animal with no humanity in you! If we were to be a team, you would do nothing except hold me back!"

Spires can hardly contain his laughter, to Razor’s chagrin, at the idea he would be holding Razor back.

Caleb Spires: “You are so ridiculous. Everybody knows that if you and I were a tag team, I would be bailing you out consistently.”

Razor smirks once again.

Razor Xtreme: "Maybe if every tag match we had was a street fight where you could mindlessly club our opponents with a mallet. Unfortunately for you, tag team wrestling requires real skill, and sorry Caleb, you don't measure up. If we were a tag team, I'd have to do all the work for us, you would be an afterthought, and you'd still get my glory!”

’The Elite One’ shakes his head in disgust.

Caleb Spires: “You know damn well I’m amongst the best technicians in this company. I’ve been wrestling since I was five years old. And yes, beating the absolute hell out of you at On a Pole was like four dreams coming true at once. But that match was an anomaly; a special treatment for a very special person, if you will. When it comes down to mat skills, you can’t hang there either.”

Razor Xtreme: "Hahahaha! Oh please, Caleb. If you were as good as you say you were, you wouldn't have needed to resort to such brutish tactics in our 'street fight,' or be so PROUD of the fact that you beat me at one. You know I'm better than you in every way imaginable. You held the record in Xtreme Wrestling Association for the longest world title run of all time... until I came along and broke it. You're nothing compared to me!"

Spires takes a deep breath in and exhales, trying to ignore everything Razor has just said, and instead do something radical that even he still isn’t quite sold on the idea.

Caleb Spires: “Look. We’ve already established we don’t like each other. That much was a given back in 2009. I despise you to your core and I will never forget some of the things you and Smoke have put me through. But I am willing to do my job. I like to win championships. And I think you do too.”

Razor Xtreme: "Hmm? I mean, yes. Obviously!"

Spires sighs, coming close to stopping himself multiple times, but he makes his pitch.

Caleb Spires: “I don’t think I am ever going to like you, Razor. But one thing I will always like is proving that I am better than you in every foreseeable way. And if I can carry your ass far enough to add another shiny belt to my collection? I guess that can be my compensation for putting up with you.”

Razor Xtreme: "Hm, don't be silly Spires. If you think us being a team will show that you're somehow better than me, then I'll gladly take you up on that. But when I carry us to a tag team championship victory, I don't want to see you take ANY of the glory! You're on, you dog."

The fans give a mixed reaction in the background, some excited while others show no support for this union. Caleb and Razor, still with angry looks on their faces, reach out for a quick handshake to confirm their team. Not wanting to touch the other for long, they pull their hands away and stand there in an awkward silence.

Caleb Spires: “So... You have a match. Go get ready for that.”

Razor Xtreme: “Don’t tell me what to do. I’m in the main event, for your information. I have plenty of time!”

Razor sassily turns around and begins walking out anyway. As Razor makes his way toward the door, Caleb calls out to him one last time.

Caleb Spires: “Good luck out there, Queen. I’d love to see you in the ring one more time before you’re in my corner.”

Razor stops for one second, and merely responds with a “hmmf, whatever.” Before continuing to walk away. Spires, still sore from his show opener, lies down on a training table and starts icing his back as the cameras flip course to the ring, just in time for Machado to pummel Lil’ Rainbow Washington.
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Re: XWA Massacre #57: The Pitch

Postby Gopher » Sat Aug 01, 2020 3:32 pm

The "hated enemies are forced to team up" trope has been done to death but that doesn't mean it can't still be super entertaining and this is already off to a strong start in that department. There's so much potential for fun shit that can be done here, both in the promos you two do together and also in the actual matches, letting the fun extend to the people writing against you, as well. It's good stuff. Also, I audibly laughed at Caleb's reaction on the phone.

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