Grand Prix: "A Quick Word"

Matches that occurred on our 2011 Grand Prix Pay Per View!
Legendary
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Grand Prix: "A Quick Word"

Postby Legendary » Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:02 pm

Derrick Jedi sits in the locker room, his match against Shawn Silva coming up next. He finishes taping his left wrist and starts, per his tradition, taping his right fist.

[JEDI] I'm not much of a wrestler, I'll admit that. I've got some grapples, some pretty decent tricks, but mostly I'm just painfully aware of myself and my opponent.

Derrick starts at his wrist, going around once counter-clockwise before hooking around the back of his hand over his thumb.

[JEDI] I'm mostly made my bread and butter as a talker. Even back when I was a better wrestler I was still a better talker and that got a lot of people wondering. They would ask me "Andrew," which is my old ring name, "Andrew, who is your favorite promo guy?" And people were often shocked at the answer I would give them but it's the honest to God's truth.

Derrick layers tape across his knuckles in strips before taping between his fingers.

[JEDI] See, people hear me and they're all like "You must like The Rock." And I do, don't get me wrong, but he's not my favorite promo. So they think and they're all like "You're an old school guy, I bet you love Dusty Rhodes." And I do find Dusty entertaining as hell, still he's not my favorite. And they rack their brains thinking. "You shoot from the hip like Piper, do you like Piper?" I do love me some "Rowdy" Roderick but again, he's not my favorite promo guy. At this point, they get really annoyed and frustrated.

Derrick begins wrapping his hand, spiraling down to his wrist and then back up again.

[JEDI] Then they just start naming names "JJ Dillion, Mick Foley, Ric Flair, Jim Cornette, Owen Hart, Jeff Jarrett, Brad Armstrong, Mr. Fuji" even. And still, I just shake my head. They practically give up and start saying ludicrous shit "Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warror, Eric Bischoff." And then I'm offended so I stop them. And with complete sincerity I look at them and I say that my favorite promo guys are Terry Funk and Dean Malenko. And while people can understand, slightly, Terry; Dean just throws them. "Dean Malenko? The guy doesn't even talk!" Not true, he says what he needs to say. See, Terry is just honest. Through and through he'll look you in the eye and say "you can beat me but I won't be defeated. I might lose but you'll know you earned that win. I'm going to give you the fight of your life and if you're not ready then that means I'll be walking out the winner." And he'll say something along those lines in that sweet, soft, old Southern grandpa drawl and you know he's sincere. The conventions of cutting a "promo" are gone, it becomes this real thing when you see this man, this warrior, go out and destroy himself and if you happen to be in that warpath then you are going to lose. But Dean, here's why I love Dean. Because wether it's Japan or Mexico, ECW or WCW; Dean said what he needed to say. Be it Joey Styles or Gene Okerlund, he would look into that camera with a microphone in his face and say the following. First, he would inform you that he was Dean Malenko, fact; he was in fact Dean Malenko. And if you were Chris Jericho, he would inform you that you pissed him off. If you weren't, which was more commonly the case, he would inform you that you were going to have a match with him. Simple enough because it was also true; you were going to have a match with Dean Malenko. "But Dean, when was this going to happen? I know happenstance might have us at other ends of the ring but can you tell me, can you tell us, the public, when this is going to happen?" And sure as shit, Dean Malenko would tell you when this match was going to happen. And finally, after he just laid on so much simple truth Dean finally ended by telling you that in said match, at the said time, he was going to hurt you. Fast forward to later that night, next week, or even just next up. Be it ECW Heatwave, WCW Halloween Havok, The Super J Cup Tournament; the time came as he said it would. You would come out and out next would be Dean, so far everything he said was coming true just as he said it. No double entendre, no cute catch phrases, no cryptic bullshit; Dean Malenko was a fucking wizard who just foretold the future. It was the date and time, you were in the ring, he was in the ring; the stars were aligned all that was left was one thing.

Derrick snaps off the tape.

[JEDI] And then Dean would hurt you. Dean would stretch you. He would plant you with brainbusters and Tiger Drivers. And when all was said and done, he locked you in one of the thousand holds he knows, usually the Texas Cloverleaf, and that was that. And even if you happened to win, Dean still managed to beat your ass in the process. He still hurt you. That's why Dean Malenko is my favorite promo guy; because he could do something that I could only hope to achieve. The man could tell the future. See, I'm funny, I'm clever, I have a way with words but In no way could I ever hope to be Terry Funk and Dean Malenko; so I have to be funny, I have to be entertaining. But the time for entertainment has passed. It has passed with Silva sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. It passed when Miles Davidson cost me my World title match. It passed when the Hierarchy continued to get involved in my business to the point where I had to assault Miles and Lucas. So forgive me because this next little bit isn't quite my forte.

Derrick stands up and looks into the camera.

[JEDI] I'm Derrick Jedi. You, Shawn Silva, are my opponent tonight at XWA Grand Prix. Our match is up next. It's a cage match so Shawn, make no mistake: tonight in that match, I am going to hurt you. I am going to beat you. And you might win with an escape, but that's the only way it'll happen. Because when I get my hands on you I'm going to beat your pretty little face in. I'm going to drop you on your head. I'm going to destroy you. So you better escape, Shawn, because it's not only the only chance you have at winning this match; it's your only shot at survival.

Derrick drops his tape and walks off to get ready for his match.
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