NOA: The BIG Announcement.

Matches that occurred on our A Night of Appreciation for Mr. West Pay Per View!
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Richard J Maxwell
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NOA: The BIG Announcement.

Postby Richard J Maxwell » Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:46 pm

And the crowd go mild for recently barely active Richard J. Maxwell. They don’t even boo him, and why should they? The man arrived in a blaze of arrogance and then promptly gave power in the company to Rated X, handing them their reign of terror. Nonetheless, the XWA commissioner is unfazed as he walks out onto the ramp, microphone in hand.

Maxwell: Settle down, settle down. Hold your applause.

Crickets chirp.

Maxwell: Oh. Like that is it? Well, then, you obviously don’t wanna hear my big news? No?


Maxwell: Well, if that’s how you all feel, I’ll just take my big Hall of Fame announcement backstage and…

There is a huge roar from the crowd, drowning out the end of his sentence. A genuine smile breaks out on the face of Maxwell, enjoying the crowd’s happiness. If they’re happy, they’re spending money.

Maxwell: That’s more like it. So, this year marks the first year, and first inductees, of the XWA Hall of Fame. We will be celebrating the very best performers in the history of this prestigious company. We will induct champions, Lords of the Ring, legends and icons. And our first inductee fits into each and every one of those descriptions.

He is a former Television champion. He is a former National champion. He is a former Tag, Hardcore, Xtreme and, most importantly, WORLD champion. He’s a former Lord of the Ring, and, come Legends, he will be the first inductee in the XWA Hall of Fame. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…

E. B. R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: NOA: The BIG Announcement.

Postby EBR » Fri Mar 04, 2011 12:38 am

The crowd cheers this announcement as the lighting dramatically dims to a near darkness as initially four taps of a drum are heard. As the intro to EPMD’s “Out of Business” album begins the crowd stirs, and shortly thereafter a sampled and remixed version of “Going The Distance” by Bill Conti (“Rocky” ftw) plays throughout the arena.

Mark Sanction: What an announcement! EBR is going into the Hall of Fame!

Jordan “Scorpion” Michaels: That’s crazy. I actually know him. Small world.

Keeping the entire show waiting, EBR finally proceeds through the curtains after several moments to a great ovation. Let’s call it a raucous ovation. That works.


Casually strolling down the entrance ramp, EBR makes several observations of the fans showering him with appreciation. He nods at this fact. That’s right. Everyone cheer for EBR. As he reaches the ring apron the lyrics finally begin and EBR ascends the ring steps, entering through the second and third rope. His music gradually fades out and the lights resume as per normal, the fans continuing to cheer and chant his name. He’s greeted by Richard Maxwell who shakes his hand and after requesting it, is handed Maxwell’s microphone.

EBR: Thank you. Turning to the crowd Please be seated.

They do because he’s EBR and he’s awesome and they like him. Plus he just got inducted into the Hall of Fame so it’d be a little rude not to follow a simple request. It’s a very respectful crowd. EBR reaches into his pocket, removing several pieces of paper which he begins to unfold.

Maxwell: No, no, you don’t have to give your speech right now -

EBR: Yeah I’m not making two trips.

Maxwell: ... Hrm ... Turning to the crowd Who wants to see a speech!?


Maxwell: Whatever, I give up trying to please you. Back to EBR Do your thing.

EBR: Thank you. Reading piece of paper Please be seated.

He looks into the audience that was already sitting.

EBR: Reading It is with great pride that I accept this great honor to be inducted into the XWA Hall of Fame. I am now the second person to be immortalized in both the WFWF and XWA Hall of Fames. DGX is the other. This makes me the first to do so with male genitalia. He looks at the crowd, and back down to the paper I’ve experienced many great moments in the XWA, but perhaps none were as fine as when I defeated Damien to win my first World Heavyweight Championship.

The camera cuts to the titan tron.

And then back to EBR.

EBR: I was told there was a copyright issue and we don’t have the footage available. Please use your memories or imagination. Reading When I learned of my induction the first thought that came into my head was “does this make me the best wrestler in the history of the XWA”? I don’t know. You would have to get every person who has ever wrestled in the XWA in one ring, one giant ring, and that’s just not possible, even with computers. He pauses, and flips to the next page I remember growing up in Toronto. I dreamt of big things. I think it was growing up in those conditions, the cold winters and so forth, that allowed me to realize those dreams. Those conditions prepared me for life, and maybe I did some questionable things in my years, but you know what, get over it. Bitches acting like I sold them crack, like I told you sell drugs. No, Hov did that so hopefully you won’t have to go through that -

He’s interrupted by Maxwell.

Maxwell: I’m sorry is this going anywhere?

EBR: Staring intently I’m trying to give a speech.

Maxwell: Squinting It looks like it’s written on a bunch of napkins ... did you write this on your way here?

EBR: Continuing to stare intently And it’s very hard to give that speech when I have you interrupting me.

Maxwell: Yeah, okay ... fair enough ... just try to hurry it along -

EBR: I have several more pages. And that was really rude, by the way ... I’ve lost my spot ... Pausing and then reading Much like Canada, the XWA has also prepared me for life. Using those XWA experiences allowed me success in other fields, perhaps none as fine as when I defeated Thunder for my second WFWF World Heavyweight Championship ... again, I can’t show the footage for legal purposes, but I brought a picture.

We are directed to the titan tron.


EBR: Reading Truthfully, I wish every wrestler currently in the XWA would be able to experience this overwhelming sense of joy. History says most won’t. If I can leave you with anything, apart from my great matches and moments, it would be advice on how to better yourself and career, so that maybe one day you will be in the XWA Hall of Fame next to me. For me personally, I find that winning helps. Some people choose to go in a different direction. Some think the cucumber tastes better pickled. Turning the page Some people ask me how I became as successful as I have. And to that -

Maxwell: Isn’t that what you just talked about?

EBR: You know, you asked me to come here so you’re being nothing but incredibly rude ... Reading Some people ask me how I became as successful as I have. And to that I say, when you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s face ... you’ll know what to do. Though, I’m well aware that I did not do this alone. Non-literally I mean. I largely did it alone apart from the tag matches. Notwithstanding, I would like to give a special shout-out to KC, my agent Weinstein, my old girlfriend Hollie ... who’s dead, Pookie, Ray-Ray, Lil Joe, Calvin Lee, Big Joe -

Suddenly ...

Tag to you know who. Bordering on “Dallas” levels with this cliffhanger.
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Re: NOA: The BIG Announcement.

Postby thefan » Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:44 pm

EBR is interrupted by a soft throat-clearing attention-calling cough. Without even breaking stride in his reading EBR digs his hand into his pocket and produces a packet of cough sweets.

*AHEM*... cough cough!

EBR: Sigh... listen I don't mean to be rude and I hope you feel better soon and all but I'm trying to give a speech here...

Scorpion: Oh MY GOD!... It's Drama... where did he come from... I was so riveted by EBR's speech that I didn't notice him come in!

Sanction: Zzzzzzz... wha?... where?... YAWN!... ummm... yeah, me too! Oh look there's Drama!

Indeed Drama does not look amused!


EBR: Oh wait a minute... I know you... yes and whilst I'm giving shout-outs a big one to this guy, let's here it for Thug Passion :)


EBR: No?...oh... haha, of course, I was just joshing with you chief... ladies and gentlemen, big Eggswah round of applause for... Unholy Warrioir :D


EBR: Ummm... Dreadnaught?


EBR: OH I know... It's Commie, ah say Com....

Drama: Shhhh... Hush Child!

Drama lunges at EBR with two dirty fingers strait for his conveniently open mouth. EBR is taken completely by surprise because the thought that anybody would want to stop his speech just never occurred to him!

Sanction: The Hush Child! Drama is putting the mandible claw on EBR... this is outrageous... a hall of famer comes back and this is how he's treated...

Scorpion: Dude, you're only saying that half-heartedly... I'm not saying I approve of Drama's behaviour but let's face it, you're glad that speech is over... come on Marc, you don't ALWAYS have to be such a goody-two-shoes, it's ok to be human ;)

Sanction: Well.... it WAS kind of dragging on a bit :(

About a thousand officials are in breaking it up. EBR is still conscious but he is left doubled-over involunarily dry-heaving. He is thankful he did not eat in the last few hours! Actually everyone is thankful for that. In between heaving he straitens up long enough to glare menacingly at his assailanty... whoever he is!
may it be a lesson to us all :(

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