Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Matches that occurred on our bi-weekly Massacre show!
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Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby DJS » Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:16 pm

OOC: Figured I'd get the thread up seeing as there wasn't one. Now there is. ;) Anyway, match.

We come back to XWA Massacre after an ad break. There's an excitement in the air- perhaps from the fact it's the anniversary show, or maybe because a matter of days away from Christimas Kaos, the night XWA could change forever. Either way, it's here and now that's most important. We go to the announcers desk where Mark Sanction and Jordan "Scorpion" Michaels are sat facing us.

SANCTION: Well ladies and gentlemen, it's been a great anniversary show so far and now we present you with perhaps one of the most bizarre contests of the night.

SCORPS: Of the year, let alone the night Mark!

SANCTION: Anyway, we're mere moments away from the beginning of this contest.

The camera flicks backstage as we see The Fan walking up. We follow him as he makes his way to the curtain.

THE FAN: Oh God...Oh Jesus! Okay, I beat Mongrel last week, I'm sure I can win this week too. The guys from the Legion though. Oh, come on Fan- pull yourself together. The Fanfans are pulling for you...gee I sure hope they get my theme song right this week, Baz and Daz aren't backstage...You know what? I'm ready! I can do this! I've been looking to become an XWA superstar all my life and now I have it! Come on! Let's go kick Sabbath's ass! I can DO IT!

After the Fan's narration concludes for the minute, we switch back to the arena. It is a few seconds before the music starts...

The crowd cheers as the music begins. The Fan pops his head out of the curtain, a surprised look filling his face. He listens for a few seconds to the song. Upon recongising it, he struts out through the curtain, confidently. He's an XWA superstar, his dream is coming true. He's on top of the world!

SANCTION: Finally! The Fan enters to the proper entrance theme he wanted!

SCORPS: Wait, so The Fan picked this?

SANCTION: I'd imagine so.

SCORPS: And he think's it applies to him?

SANCTION: It's all about conquering dreams and stuff so..why not?

SCORPS: It also refers to him as a 'small town girl'. Whatever floats his boat, I guess...

The Fan slides into the ring as Hana Ramierez makes the usual announcements.

HANA RAMIEREZ: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. First making his way to the ring, He hails to us from the Internet Wrestling Community, Facebook and Twitter...weighing 225 Ibs...THHHEEEEE FAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!

The Fan raises his arms up high into the air. Yeah!!! The Fan is awesome!! He's so over and talented in the eyes of all these fans. No one can stop him from getting what he wants, not even a guy like Diamond Jack Sabbath! Oh...Sabbath. Ah. That's...that's not good. We all know Sabbath lost a world title opportunity last week thanks to Danger Liam and he's most likely not gonna be very happy. Something clicks within the Fan's head. He feels sick, he wants to go home, back to his nice, warm house with his nice TV and DVDs of XWA Pay Per Views waiting for him.

THE FAN: Uh God...I didn't come here for this. I just came here tonight to give Rose my support, maybe steal a couple of front row seats, get 'em signed. Instead here I am up against a big, angry maniac! Great. Y'know, I'm sure there's a law against this somewhere in some country...I just wish it was this one!

Scorps places his hand on his forehead and shakes his head in disappointment.

SCORPS: *Sigh* He's at it again. The 'talking to himself' thing.

SANCTION: He's narrating. It's one of his bizarre little traits but it's getting over with the Fanfans.

SCORPS: Oh, that's what he's calling them now, right? Gimmie a break!

The music eventually fades out and the Fan paces up and down the ring in a rather nervous fashion. The lights fade out as a clash of thunder sounds throughout the arena...

Here I Am! I am the Master of your Destiny!
I am the one the only one,
I am the God of kingdom come,

As "Gimmie The Prize" by Queen echos around the arena, the lights go blue and Diamond Jack Sabbath emerges from the curtain linking with Amy Taylor at the arm to a mixed reaction. Once they are on the stage, he stares down towards the ring then slowly begins to walk down the ramp as fire and flames rise from either side of him, nodding his head to his entrance music and grinning like the psycho he is.

HANA RAMIEREZ: Making his way to the ring, From Salford, Manchester, The leader of the Legion...The Crown Jewel; DIIIIAAAAMOND.... JAAAAAAAAAAAACK.... SAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBAAAAAATTTHHH!'

There's a reaction shot on the Fan, who is in the corner, an uneasy expression gracing his face.

THE FAN: Oh God there he is! It's actually him. He's so much taller in real life! Amy's hotter in real life though...uh, stop it Fan! Uh oh, he's looking right at me...

He stops right in front of the ring and looks to The Fan with an intimidating glare and a nasty grin. He walks up the steps, gets in the ring and runs over to the turnbuckle and jumps on it and extends his arms leaving his palms open and then beats his chest in a fashion befitting only the most intimidating of wrestlers. He jumps off the turnbuckle and hands his jacket over to Amy at the side of the ring. He puts his towel on the side of the ring and turns directly towards The Fan. He's ready for a war.

SCORPS: The Fan's not looking too confident here. It's rather strange that Sabbath, having the power he does tonight, has chosen to face The Fan! I mean come on, he could've taken on Rose, got revenge on Tempest, had a rematch against Hutton Brown. Things have been heating up between him and DGX as of late...and he chose to neglect all of that and choose The Fan. That's right, Jack! Waste an opportunity!

SANCTION: Be quiet! This could be very...interesting.

Jack wanders over to the side of the ring and is handed a mic by Amy. It's still a very strange sight to see Amy and Jack working together after all that's happened over the past year. He lifts the mic up as The Fan keeps the unconfident and uneasy expression on his face.

JACK: So...The Fan! Finally living your dream, eh? That's great! That is really great, good for you!

The uneasy expressions have dropped from the Fan's face and have switched to an expression of confusion.

THE FAN: What? He's complimenting me? This makes no sense. Why is he--

JACK: There he goes again! The narration! You know, I bet everyone here in this crowd tonight finds you quite entertaining!

The fans (or "Fanfans") cheer, almost as if they agree with Sabbath's statement. He nods, almost as if he accepts that they prefer The Fan to him.

JACK: Well you know something? I'm glad your dream is a reality now. I'm glad our enjoying it. I'm glad it came true, 'cause guess what? Mine didn't. My dream was shattered last week! My dream of becoming the XWA World Heavyweight Champion was broken into tiny little pieces by a pathetic little man who didn't hold his end of the bargin. So that's kind of why I chose this match. Tonight, I'm going to shatter your dream too.

The crowd boos, taking the side of our new hero.

THE FAN: Oh dear...that's not good.

JACK: And that's another thing! These fans might find your narrating and endless poking-your-nose into things that don't concern you great, but I DON'T! Start this match...

He hands the mic back to Amy who plots it outside the ring. Sabbath takes the last few seconds to warm himself up, doing a few stretches and cracking his neck into place. The Fan stands in the other corner, holding onto the rope for support. Not that it's gonna help him in any way, he just kind of wants the support to be there.

THE FAN: I knew I shouldn't have turned up. Why couldn't I have stayed at home? This was a bad idea. I sure hope Daz, Chaz and Baz are behind me in this one. Maybe I can find them...

He looks into the first few rows, looking for his three companions. Eventually after much scanning around he finds them, all wearing Legion shirts. What?! The Fan gulps.

THE FAN: Uh oh...

The bell rings! The match begins, Sabbath storms across the ring towards The Fan.

THE FAN: OH NO! Oh God No!

Once Jack reaches The Fan, he grabs him by the throat. He then grabs The Fan's left leg with the hand he has free and lifts The Fan high into the air.

SANCTION: Sabbath lifting The Fan up into the air. Could this be a gorrilla press?

THE FAN: Eeep...

Jack lets go completely as The Fan falls, crashing down onto the ground behind him.


SANCTION: Oh dear, we're off to a bad start already then.

As The Fan lies in a heap on the mat, Sabbath drops to his knees and goes for a quick cover...



Wait...what? Sabbath lifts The Fan's shoulder up himself, thus stopping the cover. He stands up and walks over to the opposite corner as Amy grabs a bottle of water for him and presents it to him. He snatches it off her and begins to drink it, watching The Fan's attempts to get up again.

SANCTION: What is he doing?

SCORPS: Ah, I see! He's obviously still pissed off about last week, right? So he booked himself in a match that he thought would be easy to take out his anger.

SANCTION: This is ridiculous! Why didn't he just book himself against Liam if he was so pissed off with him?

SCORPS: Cause he's a dick, that's why.

The Fan struggles to get back to his feet, his knees wobbling and dizziness starting to cloud his vision. It's only when he sees Jack throw his bottle of water to the side and begin moving towards him yet again that he starts to move. He jumps almost out of his skin and begins to run in a big circle around the ring. Jack's not having it and chases after him, the scene now basically looking like a game of 'tag', and Sabbath's it. The arena falls somewhat silent as we hear the small, sporadic screams of The Fan.

SANCTION: Well erm, this is... different.

SCORPS: What does The Fan hope to achieve here? He's being chased by a trained athlete! What's he hoping for? Is he hoping to win this match via cardiac arrest?

So the chase continues for a further few moments. The chase is continuing for two simple reasons- The Fan is scared and Jack is fuckin' pissed! It is at this point, we are treated once again to some inner thoughts from the Fan, as he narrates once again...

THE FAN: *pant* I think *breath* I need to *breath* stop now. Wait, why...why am I running? I can't do this! I'm in a wrestling match for *breath* for Christ sake! Would Rose run? No! I need to get back into this and show Jack-In-A-Box who's boss! Fuckin' yeah!

The Fan stops and turns around, waiting for Sabbath. Is Sabbath gonna stop? No. Is The Fan enough to stop a 6'7, 246 Ib man from taking him down in a rugby-style tackle? Nope. The Fan drops to the ground thanks to Jack's takedown as Jack bounces back up. He circles The Fan like a fairly-evil lion. The Fan shakes his head in attempt to 'shake the cobwebs' as it were. He's dizzy, his vision is blurred and his shoulder is killing him after he fell onto it first during that take-down. He knows- realistically he couldn't beat Diamond Jack Sabbath and it may be running through his head all the way through this, but he has to try. He has to think fast though, Sabbath's hooked the leg!




The Fan kicked out! All the power Sabbath has and The Fan kicked out of it! It seems some of that work the XS put into training him has paid off in some way! Sabbath smashes his fist into the canvas and then jumps up, demanding a recount from the ref. The ref insists it was a two count. Both Sabbath and Amy at ringside are furious. Amy is shouting offensive remarks up to the ref and Jack is stomping on the mat in anger like a spoiled child.The crowd is cheering like crazy! The can't believe it!

SANCTION: The Fan just kicked out of a high-impact move by Sabbath!

SCORPS: What? This is ridiculous! The Fan is not a wrestler! He's a damn internet nerd who got lucky! He shouldn't even be here! What is this? Are we in an alterative world again this week? Do we have to start wibbling again? This is a complete joke!

All the while The Fan is still there, still only just concious. Like mentioned before, he has to at least try and beat Sabbath. He picks himself up, his knees aching once again and faces Sabbath, who is still in terrific shape, almost like it's the start of the match however with the added bonus of being absolutely enraged at the Fan's kick out. The Fan staggers over to Sabbath once again. Sabbath gets straight in The Fan's face. To say he's a little bit peeved would be an understatment.

JACK: You think your cool just cause you kicked out of one move, huh? You think you can do what I do? You're nothing!

Sabbath slaps The Fan right in the mouth, knocking his entire head to the right-hand side. After a chorus of 'ooohh' from the entire crowd, booing slowly begins, and quite right too. It was an entirely disrespectful act on the part of Sabbath. The Fan looks back up at Jack, his eyes filled with rage.

SANCTION: The Fan doesn't look too happy.

SCORPS: Good! I don't blame Sabbath! That damn nerd isn't fit to stand in an XWA ring!

Sabbath laughs as he sees the expression on The Fan's face. After taking some time to be amused, he slaps The Fan again, this time with a very loud CRACK following it. The Fan knows he can't take this. Baz, Chaz and Daz are in the audience as well as everyone else he knows watching at home, and they're basically watching Sabbath bully him here. Sabbath goes in for a final slap just for his own amusement and then, like George McFly and so many others before him SMASH! The Fan punches Sabbath right in the jaw, sending him a few feet back, much to the obvious delight of the crowd. Sabbath checks over his jaw while the crowd begins to chant "FAN IS AWESOME! *clap* *clap* *clap clap clap*". The Fan checks his throbbing knuckles over. He takes a few moments to catch his breath as Amy jumps up to check Jack's face for any bruising or whatever. He looks around at the crowd as they cheer him on and chant. It's truly a moment to behold, a moment only dreams can create. Sabbath's not wrecking The Fan's dream, he's pushing it forward. To The Fan he's already won the match here, at least he's had this one moment that he's dreamed of having- universal appreciation and fans chanting his name. As always though, there will always be at least one that isn't happy as we're about to find out on commentary:

SANCTION: I don't believe it! The Fan just laid a swift right hand on Diamond Jack Sabbath, and now the Fanfans are getting behind him! What a moment!

SCORPS: So he's over, so what? Colin Delaney was over- did he win? That's all you are "Fan"; you are XWA's Colin Delaney!

SANCTION: Would Colin Delaney have punched someone? No, so for just this match Scorps, keep your opinions to yourself!

SCORPS: Oh, sometimes I don't know why I bother!

Anyway, back to the match The Fan has the need once again to narrate, so let's allow him shall we? Time for this narrator right here to take a small step back...

THE FAN: I can't believe it! I just punched Diamond Jack Sabbath right in the face! I did something all these people have wanted to do for over a year, ever since the Legion first showed up! This...this is awesome! I wonder what all the guys and my wife and kids think of me now... "you're making a mistake", "your an idiot", "your gonna get your ass kicked!"- well look at this! I'm an Eggswah superstar! I'm on top of the world!

He puts fists into the air triumphantly. He's forgotten though- he's not won. He's still in a match. Sabbath is still concious and in the corner with Amy checking his face over. Upon finding nothing, she allows him back into the match. Jack angrily but slowly makes his way over to The Fan who has his back turned. If only he knew. Sabbath forces The Fan around to face him by the shoulders and...


The Fan's moment is wrecked in a split-second. The booing starts once again. Sabbath, visibly pleased with his work beats his chest like a powerful gorilla as The Fan lies there barely conscious. He can't even narrate. Sabbath drags the poor guy up again and the punishment begins. But wait! Who are those two running down the ramp? Tell 'em Sanction!

SANCTION: Wait...who's that? It's the XS! Chris Novak! Matt Delonge! These two guys have been training The Fan!

SCORPS: They obviously didn't do a very good job, the guys flat out!

Novak and Delonge, two proud members of the XWA Loyalists faction jump into the ring. The ref stand in front of them before they can get anywhere, urging them to get out of the ring. The ref and Matt Delonge continue to argue while Novak, obviously escaping the ref's gaze, creeps behind him towards Sabbath who is busy with the Fan at the moment. He turns around, feeling the presence of someone else there. He turns around and a very short second later...


Sabbath goes boing.

SANCTION: ONE MORE THING! Chris Novak drills DJS with One More Thing!

With Sabbath now out on the floor, The Fan out of it too and Delonge still arguing with the ref, Novak picks The Fan up and places him on top of Sabbath in a pinfall position. He then runs over to the ref and directs his attention to it. The ref turns around, not for a few seconds thinking about how The Fan managed to pin Sabbath despite being knocked out but hey, it's wrestling- suspend your disbelief, eh? As the XS slide out of the ring and run off, the ref drops to the mat...

SANCTION: Can you imagine how big of an upset it would be if The Fan could get a win over Sabbath here?

SCORPS: Yes, and also how it would be a joke that would follow Jack around for a long time. Sabbath better kick out for his own sake.

Can The Fan can get a win over Sabbath here? Let's find out...



Amy doesn't want to see Jack lose tonight (or any night for that matter, but anyway, I digress...) and tugs on the refs leg, thus interrupting the count. The ref looks around, seeing Amy with her hand around his ankle. He jumps up and after a few seconds points to the entrance way. Hana Rameirez, seeing what this means gets out of her seat and grabs the mic.

HANA RAMIEREZ: The referee has banned Amy Taylor from ringside!

The crowd cheers this decision. Amy shakes her head and shouts at the ref. The ref shouts back, telling her to get out. Little does he know that behind his back, three guys wearing hooded shirts have jumped over the railings from the front row and are in the ring. They pull thier hoods back and are revealed to be Drake Dysfunction, Satine X and Trace Demon- members of the Legion. They lift The Fan- who's still barely conscious- off of Sabbath and plant him onto the mat. Trace prods Sabbath in an effort to get him to move his ass! Sabbath, still a bit stunned after One More Thing, lifts himself up. He looks around to recount his surroundings and then realises where he is. Amy noticing he's back up and ready stops arguing with the ref. Meanwhile the Legion members jump out the ring and back over the barricade, right into the front row. Sabbath looks down at The Fan and lifts him up, setting him up in a powerbomb position. The fans boo- they know what's gonna happen. Jack lifts The Fan up, his legs draped over Sabbath's shoulders and a few seconds later...


Sabbath goes in for the pin...



SANCTION: The Fan tried...


SANCTION: But he just wasn't strong enough.

Gimmie The Prize starts playing again as the ref holds Jack's arm up high in victory. Hana Ramierez grabs the mic, this time not moving from her seat cause, quite frankly, she just can't be arsed.

HANA RAMIEREZ: Here is your winner...Diamond Jack Sabbath!!

Jack snatches his arm away from the ref and for no apparent reason SMASH! He knocks the ref down with a very hard big boot. The music abruptly stops as Sabbath beckons the Legion members back into the ring. Jack tosses the ref out of the ring as Jack Hazard, Raine, Jack Mercy, Creed, Amy Taylor and Skip Sanders make their ways down to the ring. The Legion swarm into the ring, surrounding The Fan.

SANCTION: What now?

SCORPS: I...don't know.

The crowd boos the mere sight of the Legion in the ring. Drake pulls out a can of spray paint and presents it to Jack. Jack smiles in that demented and twisted way of his, shaking the can before pulling the top off. Slowly he begins to spray the Legion logo in black paint on the knocked-out Fan's chest. After finishing his work, he throws the can out of the ring. A few seconds later the crowd is screaming when the XS, Utah Joe and Rose charge down to the ring. The Legion aren't sticking around though and jump out of the ring quickly and escape through the crowd, looking back at the Loyalists now occupying the ring. Rose and the XS check over The Fan, now with the tip of the 'L' sprayed on his chest slowly dripping down him.

SANCTION: Well, seems the Legion didn't want to fight with the Loyalists tonight, but they left them with something to remember them by.

SCORPS: That 'present' they left the Loyalists with is a reminder that they're serious and the XWA's card is marked. They might not have fought them tonight, but I'll be damned if they don't bring the fight at Christmas Kaos.

We fade out to commercials after one last look at the Legion logo sprayed onto The Fan's chest...

Last edited by DJS on Mon Dec 13, 2010 5:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby thefan » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:56 am

Do you ever get those moments where you stop and question yourself? Like... where you've been, where you're going, how the fricking hell you're gonna get there and what in God's name is driving you in the first place?

You get it right fanfans? I mean it's normal human psychology right? It's not just me... is it? Or the path that I have chosen?

I mean, for the most part I'm sure of what I'm doing, I just don't know how I'm gonna do it, but like sometimes... not all the time or even most of the time, just... you know... SOMEtimes... I... well I kind of... wonder, you know?

Ulp! I think I'm having one of those times. Things have been going pretty good for me up to now but I've had some setbacks that make me wonder if I really belong here. Here in the Eggswah. Here in this very ring. Here going toe to toe with... *sharp breath intake*... Jack Sabbath.

I mean, obviously they are not the same since Ozzy went solo, but it's still pretty daunting I tells ya.

I'm going to step through those curtains right now and... whew... I just hope I can hold my own... even making my way to the ring, let alone what happens after. The guys say they've got my back this week, they're not gonna mess about with no stripper music, they say they're gonna play something to help me.

I try not to show, but the guys, they can read me you know? Ha well ever since I broke the fourth wall I guess everyone can read me haha, but you know what I mean. Well... I hear Hana addressing the crowd, so I guess we'll find out... wish me luck fanfans... please don't stop believing... even if it looks like sometimes I do!

Hana Ramierez: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and contains by request of XWA Commissioner Richard J. Maxwell, the following stipulation... ahem... first person narration is strictly forbidden and shall be treated as a disqualifiable offence!


Scorpion: Yes THANK you Mr. Maxwell!

Sanction: Well you seem to be in the minority there Scorps, the live audience here clearly not pleased with this decision, and I'll admit myself, I kind of liked his style.

Scorpion: Yeah so did his opponents, I mean when you say "he telegraphed that maneuver" for the first time ever you could actually be taken literally!

Ugh! God yeah, I almost managed to forget about that. Sigh. It's true fanfans, Maxwell has made it clear he does not like my style, and well... yeah... as soon as that bell rings, I'll be... well I'll be handing you over... guh I HATE how that sounds... but yeah I'll be handing you over to a professional disembodied voice... c'mon guys don't look at me like that... it's just for the duration of the match and it's not like I have any choice or anything! I'm not abondoning the fanfans, don't take it like that, I'm nothing without you guys. Ok guys?

Hana: Introducing first... representing the X...W...A....


Anyway trust me guys, I'm not going to let just anyone narrate this thing, this guys good, I promise. He was on Discovery and Animal Planet and everything. Except he doesn't have a silly Canadian accent like Steve Irwin.

Wait a minute... did she just say... REPRESENTING? The Eggswah? Oh boy. Deep breath. Shit! Ummmm... ok, relax, relax. WHAT THE FRICKING HELL AM I DOING HERE? Jesus Christ I should be home watching this with Daz and Chaz and Baz and beer and popcorn and extra hot wings and screaming in Spanish at my masked luchador kids to stop blocking my view... hmmm... come to think of it, I wonder what they look like under those masks now...

Hana: Weighing in at 225lbs and hailing from all over cyberspace....

No, you're right fanfans... I'm doing this FOR Chaz and Baz and Daz and for you guys... Eggswah has a battle on it's hands and every fan must do his duty... Oh boy I just...


Fanfans: We are fanfans...clap,clap,clap-clap-clap! We are fanfans...clap,clap,clap-clap-clap!

Wow... this is it fanfans...

Is this... Journey? Holy crap... Baz and Chaz and Daz did, they came through for me? Oh my God what am I waiting here behind the curtain for? No self-doubt can survive a Journey onslaught... let's go fanfans we've got our own journey ahead :scool:

Sanction: Wow, listen to this crowd sing along, they love this guy.

Scorpion: Yeah you sure you don't have a bit of a man-crush yourself Mark? You make Cole calling a Miz match sound professionally unbiased

I'm making my way down... actually no... WE'RE making OUR way down the ramp to an impressive response, I must say! Wow! This really is something...I've been so caught up in the crowd's reaction and the dazzling lights and the most awesome cheesy 80's power-ballad that well... it appears we're in the ring already, damn, maybe it's a good thing I got a narrator in for this so I can concentrate on the task at hand, my head is all over the place now!

Aww, the music's fading away... I was enjoying that :sunhappy:

Uh-oh... see that fanfans? The lights are fading out....holyp crap what was that? Thunder?

Here I Am! I am the Master of your Destiny!
I am the one the only one,
I am the God of kingdom come,
Sanction: And here comes Sabbath, accompanied as always by Amy Taylor... you got to wonder what's going through the Fan's mind right now!

Scorpion: Popcorn? :sbiggrin:

Sanction: As for Sabbath, well it's never easy to figure out what's going through his mind, and even if I could I wouldn't want to!

HANA RAMIEREZ: Making his way to the ring, From Salford, Manchester, The leader of the Legion...The Crown Jewel; DIIIIAAAAMOND.... JAAAAAAAAAAAACK.... SAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBAAAAAATTTHHH!'

So like... yeah.. he's coming stopping right in front of the ring and wh..wh..what the hell is he grinning out, this isn't funny! OK, calm down, calm down, he is clearly just trying to intimidate me! I wish he wasn't so damn good at it! :sohmy:

Look at him the poser, jumping on the turnbuckle. Huh... I remember I tried that in my last match, that was... embarrassing :oops: Oh well, what counts is what he's GOING to do after the bell rings. Oh God we're staring in each other's eyes and... where are you going fanfans? Don't leave! What the... oh crap yeah, the narrator switch.........


And so when the lion decided it wasn't so hungry after all and just sauntered away to take a nap, what the hell was I left to narrate about? That's when I decided I needed a break from wildlife shows I needed to narrate something with more ac... what... we're on air? Crap where was my cue?


Ahem... and....we're on...

And now we arrive at a rather fascinating part of the ritual, where the two alpha males circle each other with eyes locked together and the tension quite clearly travels to rest of the homo-sapiens in the crowd and the low murmurs you can hear are now starting to pick up in volume.

The "grapplilatious professiousses", or the pro-wrestlers as they are more commonly referred to are searching each other out for psychological weaknesses which of course so often makes all the difference in these physical battles. And to the fact that in this case it is a tribal issue between two rival packs fighting over this territory adds pressure to the combatitants and the "doofus instipeseuos" or the designated referee is going to have his hands full with this one.

Sanction: Sabbath looking confident here and with good reason.

Scorpion: Hey if things went just very slightly the other way last week in Manchester, he's be our world champion right now and probably would not even be wasting his time with this loser.

Sanction: Well this loser was a winner last week but that was of course under very unusual cirumstances, I can't see his luck holding out two weeks running as much as I'd like to.

Oh dear, nobody told me I would have to work with commentators! I'm sorry but don't you just find the limited and over-simplified vocubulary rather dull which I suppose they think they make up for with their screaming and shouting and general failure to keep personnal emotion out of their vocal tones.

Scorpion: Well I'm glad we don't have to listen to no dumb narration this week, though I can't figure why my ears are burning right now!

And now watch the predatory movements of the blond one, known as Diamond Jack Sabbath who has clearly revealed himself as the more dominant of the combatants before any physical contact has been made. Riveting. The other one whom according to my research is simply known as the fan is one the defensive, preditor and prey have been clearly discerned even to the casual observer. Sabbath makes darting movements but with no follow through and yet it is having an almost paralysing effect on his victim, amazing!

Sanction: Sabbath just playing with the fan here.

Scorpion: Yeah he's just grinning and faking and the Fan is falling to pieces, this one has all the hallmarks of a train-wreck.

Sanction: And now Sabbath is offering a test of strength, this should be interesting.

Oh I say, contact has been made... initiated by the blonde one, no surprise there, but the one they call the Fan has reluctantly given his hand into this test of male dominance. The Fan is looking all around him it's almost like a telepathic attampt to gain approval from onlooking herd, and they appear to have picked up on it, and here you can see the mob mentality of the homo-sapien at it's finest, the noise is almost deafening.

Fanfans: Let's go Eggswah! STOMP STOMP STOMP! Let's go Eggswah! STOMP STOMP STOMP!

I must say in all of my time spent in the jungles, oceans, deserts and tundras of this planet I have never seen such a thirst for blood from any of the species I've come across. Oh and what is this? The meek one has used his free hand and suddenly lashed out reminding me of a cornered rat. The impact of the "slapicus-opendious-handico" has sent shockwaves through the surrounding packs as they raise themselves on their back limbs to gain a better view. Sabbath has retreated a few paces, quite involuntarily as far as I can make out and the grin... no, I can no longer call it a grin, it is now most adamantly a snarl.

The Fan himself it must be said cannot seem to come to terms with his own actions, he seems to be in a greater state of shock than the recepient of the blow. He is touching his forehead, his lower abdomine, the left and then the right side in rapid succession, a spiritual gesture to a higher power often used by weaker samples of the species in times of sheer desperation.

Scorpion: Holy slap-a-cheek did that really just happen?

Sanction: The Fan knows he is outmatched here, there is no way he could hope to come out of a test of strength with any positive outcome, he had to lash out.

Scorpion: Great temporary solution, but I'm not so sure he was thinking about the long-term, Sabbath is livid right now!

Sanction: The Fan blessing himself now, I think it would be a better use of his time and hands to follow through on this very brief upper hand.

Indeed :roll: And now Sabbath is indeed in a state of ire, I've always marveled at the human's ability to change face color in a demonstration of wrath. Oh and look at this, he is charging full force, what a sight to behold, arm outstretched in a "liner-to-hang-one's-clothes-onicus:" and oh my the impact has sent his opponent sprawling backwards against the strands of rope, and look at Sabbath he does not let up which is crucial to the leader of any tribe especially one as ruthless as my notes inform me as the Legion.

Scorpion: Well that didn't last long. Nice knowing ya Fan!

Sabbath runs the opposite way, but not in retreat, indeed no, he puts his entire body weight into the ropes at the opposite end and launches himself to come back at his victim a second time with even more brutal velocity than before.

His victim on the other hand has stumbled forward, displaying a lack of balance, or a "drunken stupor" if you will, and has fallen face downward's onto the floor...,

Sanction: Shades of Ric Flair there from the Fan though probably not intentional.

...and oh how fortunate, as this has enabled him to avoid the incoming approach. Sabbath has instead gracefully leaped over him and continued hitting the ropes once again displaying the full potential of this structure of violence referred to geometricly incorrectly as a "ring".

And now Sabbath slows cleverly uses the ropes to slow himself and comes at the fallen body of the Fan with a slower more methodical pace, reaches his arms upwards and falls forward onto the body hitting him with a "axio-con-dos-handeleos"

Scorpion: Ouch! Sabbath making sure he made the connection with the very point of his elbows, that's what makes him so dangerous, every move, even something as basic as a double axe-handle is executed with maximum effect.

Sanction: The Fans writhing body bearing the full testamant of that.

Sabbath gets back to his feet and his face has regained some of it's composure clearly indicating that he feels no threat. Indeed he appears to be casting a glance in the direction of his primary mate, a very aesthetically pleasing example of the female of the species known as Amy Taylor.

She returns a grin of satisfaction and Sabbath returns to his prey, inevitably going in for the kill. Oh yes, look at that sheer ruthlessness, as he remorcelessly stomps upon his opponent once... twice... oh and now he is simply walking on top of him, this last gesture being more about displying dominance rather than causing more physical damage.

And now Sabbath glances once more to his mate who swings her arm upwards in a gesture requesting that he pick up the limp body, which he does, amazing the way these species can communicate with body language, indeed he grabs the head of the Fan and pulls him upward, the Fan dazedly raising and oh my... he curls his fists up and swings them at Sabbath in a very futile attempt to break away, and I believe that Sabbath is actually laughing.

Scorpion: There ya go... living the dream huh? I hope this sends a message to all the other wannabe wrestlers out in internet land!

And the Fan gives one last attempt to connect with a punch swinging his arm in a huge arc, which Sabbath easily ducks and in very smooth motion slips around to the back of the would-be assailant and locks both of his upper limbs around the thorax of the Fan who appears to be struggling to escape the wastelock but to no avail as the aggressor bends his knees and impressively lifts the Fan completely off the ground, carrying him backwards and depositing him on the back of his cranium with a "suplexicum-de-Deutshlandicus" and with the waistlock still in place Sabbath holds on as the appointed official slides down to the floor to check there is contact with the shoulders and starts slamming his hand whilst counting.

Sanction: Sabbath holding onto the German suplex for the pin... one, two, oh that was close but the Fan has used the momentum of the move and rolled forward just enough to raise his shoulder.

Scorpion: Sabbath clearly annoyed, I think he just wants to finish this and get out of here, the cat is bored of playing with the mouse!

Oh please, as if that neanderthal knows anything about felines or rodents! But yes the Fan has raised his shoulder and Sabbath in annoyance has released him, oh and look at the mouse scamper away from the cat's claws as he crawls on all four limbs towards the ropes, slides under the bottom one and drops outside the rope structure for a clearly needed respite. He is holding the back of his head and looking around in a pleading manner.

Sanction: Smart move by the Fan, getting the hell out of Dodge.

Scorpion: Yeah, you know what would have been a smarter move?... keeping his shoulders down for the three-count!

Sanction: I would agree, but let's face it, you see what the Legion like to do with their victims, what makes you think the end of the match would be the end of the torture?

Scorpion: Touche. A smarter move would have been remaining a fan watching somebody else take this beating from a safe distance!

Sanction: I've just been informed that due to some technical issue we are going to folow the Fan's example and take a quick break, we'll be right back folks, stay tuned

A note from XWA Comissioner

During the break XWA have come to terms with the release former Discovery and Animal Planet narrator Danny Malkingdom. We feel that his style is not compatible with the wrestling industry and quite frankly his constant use of latin terms and comparisons with animal behavious was downright annoying. We wish him luck in his future endeavours. This match shall continue narrated by our very own Gen, Eric.

Sincerely, Richard J. Maxwell

Sanction: And we're back folks, apparantly whatever technical problems we were experiencing have been sorted.

Scorpion: Though I can't say the same for the Fan as he is still in a world of trouble, Sabbath has followed him outside the ring.

Sabbath has stepped out onto the apron and has taken a run and launched himself with a double axe-handle at the Fan who looks up just in time to step out of the way. Sabbath lands on his feet though and chases the Fan around the outside of the ring in hot persuit (I've been specifically asked not to use the term "cat and mouse" for some reason).

Amy Taylor puts herself in the Fan's path and he manages to just about evade a back body drop which would have been a painful landing on the cold concrete. The Fan keeps running and Sabbath turns the corner but sees Amy to late and cannot apply the breaks and the resulting collision sends her sprawling into the crowd barriers.

Scorpion: Wow, fortune has given the Fan yet another reprieve, this guy must carry a rabbit's foot or something!

Sanction: Sabbath is torn between concern over his valet and boiling over the top with rage.

The Fan takes the opportunity to climb back into the ring and collapse in the corner, his body in bad shape as much due to the physical exertion of the chase as much as the beating he has already taken. The referee starts the count for Sabbath to get back in the ring. He hears the referee at around the 4 or 5 mark and turns in pleading desperation to Taylor who waves at him to get back in the ring, though not without a clear trace of anger directed at him. Sabbath apologetically backs towards the ring, then climbs into it now turning his wrathful focus back on the Fan who has managed to stand himself up strait in the meantime.

The Fan takes a shaky run at Sabbath who sees him coming a mile off, and easily takes him down with a drop-toe-hold. He throws himself on top of the Fan and nails him with a couple of vicious left and right mounted punches to the back of the head before maneuvering himself around so he's head to head with the Fan and applies a tight headlock.

Scorpion: Wow, Sabbath is all over the Fan like a rash. Time to finish this off I think.

Sanction: I'm kind of hoping for the Fan's sake you're right!

The Fan is kicking his foot, at first wildly but the movement is slowing as Sabbath wrenches harder and harder and the neck with more animosity than he would usually display toward an opponent so clearly beneath him. In essence... he is not playing anymore.

noticing the slowing movement of the Fan's foot, the referee slides down to check for consciousness. He lifts the Fan's hand and watches it drop to the ground. As he is about to call for the bell, the hand raises slightly, a couple of inches perhaps, but more importantly the fingers curl into a fist, the intention of declaring himself conscious being understood by the official. The foot instead of kicking up and down slides in an arc until the Fan feels there is no canvas underneath it. his foot is leaning out over the apron.

Sanction: The Fan finding the ropes and the referee is calling for a break.

Scorpion: Look at how angry Sabbath is though he might not do it, I think he just wants to hurt the Fan now regardless of a potential DQ!

Referee: Three, Four, ok that's it break, BREAK Sabbath or I WILL call the bell!

Sabbath looks up at the official with a gaze that makes the ref back away, nontheless Sabbath does break the hold.

Sanction: I haven't seen Sabbath so angry in a long time, and that's saying something.

Scorpion: Well look at it logistically Mark. He could have been, and in his own mind SHOULD be world Champion. And now here he is having more trouble than he should against a glorified fan. He has to know that the Legionaires are watching this backstage, he hand-picked this match himself to show an example but it's turning out to be more of an embarrasment.

Sanction: Well it's going to be behind him now, he's just signaled for the Diamond's Wrath!

Sabbath has turned his attention again to his opponent and has grabbed him by the head and yanked him clean away from the ropes and into the dead center of the ring. He places the Fan's head between his legs and stares around the arena commanding everybody and anybody to witness the slaughter of this pretender once and for all. He takes his time relishing the moment and the position of sheer dominance starts to pacify him somewhat. his leg mussels relax albeit slightly but enough for the Fan to slide unconsciously to the ground.

Sanction: Wow the Fan is so out of it that Sabbath can't even hold him in position for the finisher!

Sabbath actually steps back and starts laughing , his shoulders heaving. He flips the Fan onto his back and bends over to scream in his face.


Unfortunately for Sabbath he did not notice the Fan's hand crawling up the back of his leg and slipping down inside the back of his black trunks.

Fortunately for the Fan, neither did the referee.

Sabbath finally took notice when the other arm leaped up and curled itself around his head and yanked him forward into the Fan's awaiting tangled embrace.

The referee finally took noticve then, not of the gripped trunks but of the grounded shoulder blades...




Of course the referee cannot hear the commentators and is pre-occupied with the shoulders, hard to see shoulders and tights at the same time, I mean we can't really blame him can we?







Indeed the arena has erupted in celebration at this most unlikely res... wait a minute... I'm fading out here... what's going on... is this thing on... hello?...


Ugh... where am I? My head hurts and it's like... spinning and stuff... wow it's noisy in here what's all the shouting about... fanfans? OH... hey..there you are?

Oh thank God... I was worried I wouldn't see you guys again, that maybe... I wouldn't make it...alive, let alone be conscious... ummm...somewhat conscious!

I hope you guys were alright while I was fighting. The narrator guy, how did that work out? What's that...long story, ok, I guess you guys can fill me in later, my head hurts to much now

Wow, so I'm... still in one piece? I am right, you'd tell me if I was missing a limb or something... hey what's that music... is that Journey? I heard that song earlier today... wait a minute... does that mean... no way...

what's going on fanfans? I'm lost, help me out here... my arm... why is my arm raising? I'm not doing that am I? I don't think so I have no feeling in it... ah the ref is holding it up, that explains it... WAIT A MINUTE... THAT MEANS... THAT MEANS... oh... my... fanfans... we... we did it? we really did it? :ssurprise: :scry: :ssurprise:

oh my God fanfans... guys... this... you stuck with me, and we... oh my listen to that noise... this is the greatest... moment... of my....

Sanction: DAMN!

Scorpion: Whoa... dude... that was... is he moving? Is... is the Fan ok? :sblink:

Sanction: I don't think so... he's out cold... I have NEVER seen such a vicous big boot to the face in my LIFE!

Scorpion: I mean, he was barely conscious after the match, he was delirious, did you hear him talking to himself again, only this time he was asking questions to his invisible voices or whatever...

Sanction: Well he ain't talking now, oh no, look, Sabbath's not done... SOMEONE GET HIM OUT OF THERE DAMMIT!

Scorpion: We need some medics out here, his neck might be broken, where the hell are the paramedics...

Sanction: And where the hell are the loyalists? Where's Rose, Tempest, Angelus, Novak, Delonge, ANYBODY

Scorpion: I think I can answer that... look up at the ramp... The Legion are out in full force, the got the ramp sealed off...

Sanction: The Eggswah guys are trying to force their way through but there's a stand-off right now and..what the hell... now the Rated X guys are getting involved... who's side are they on anyway?

Scorpion: Their own... this situation is time-bomb waiting to go off... but while they're all having a pissing contest up there, nobody is keeping Sabbath away from the Fan! That guy need medical attention dammit!

Sanction: Hey what's Taylor doing.... she's getting something under the ring, and... what's that burning smell?

Scorpion: Oh no... no they wouldn't dare... it's been expressly outlawed, they can't do that not out here, right in the middle of the ring? They'll be fired!

Sanction: Not if they win that tag match at Kaos! They'll be in control.

Scorpion: You mean this is a sign of things to come if Legion are victorious next week.

Sanction: Referees, officials, cameramen, a whole bunch of people trying to stand in the way...

Scorpion: Not for long though... look at Amy prod the air with that thing... nobody wants to be on the receiving end of that.

Sanction: She's handed it to Sabbath, he's walking slowly towards the unconscious Fan and...oh no, can we cut to comeercial, this should not be show....

Scorpion: ... to late... damn... that smell... the smell of burning flesh, it's nause... naus... ooo, I feel sick

Sanction: Oh boy... look at that sick bastard grin. His work is done, and now he's just sauntering off.

Scorpion: And now... FINALLY Rose, Tempest, Angelus, the loyalists have broken through... but it's futile now for the Fan

Sanction: Do... do you think his wife and kids are watching this

Scorpion: Stop Mark... no point thinking about it.

Sanction: How do you think the Fan is going to feel... waking up and knowing he's scarred for life?

Scorpion: I don't know Mark, it's one thing for a seasoned wrestler to come to terms with something like this but.... man...

Sanction: OK, finally we're going to commercial folks, we'll be back with more XWA action including Tempest and Angelus going at it hardcore style, don't go away...
may it be a lesson to us all :(
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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby Rob » Mon Dec 13, 2010 3:53 pm

hmmm this is alot harder than i thought it would be which is a total compliment to whomever thefan maybe as DJS is one of the best. I need to read and re-read the the matches.
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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby Dan » Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:10 pm

DJS: You have a very unique writing style, and I really liked the match. The ending wasn't to my liking, but overall, a solid showing.

Thefan: What can I say, except... What the fuck is all that? That was a match? That's insane! lol
I do enjoy reading your stuff, but it got a bit confusing at times for me. However, the ending was amazing. Truly a thing of beauty.

My vote goes to... Mr. Diamond Jack Sabbath. Good showing for the both of you.
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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby Dysfunctional » Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:46 pm

Fan: Like Dan Bennett, I am amazed at your work. You just came here and shocked us all with your skill, having us ask the question "Where the hell did you come from." Seriously, if XWA had more guys like you, we'd be on the top of the fed chain if that's the way to put it. :sbiggrin: This was a great showing from you, but I'm kind of agreeing with Dan on this one. I was a bit confused on some parts, but all in all, it was an alright match.

Jack: Like always, you put on a good show. I mean, you have to. You represent the most fearsome group in the XWA. But seriously, I simply liked what you did here. It was traditional match writing at its finest as you are known for having a unique style of match writing. Great job to the both of you.

I was a little "iffy" about this, but you gotta do what you got's to do.

Vote: Sabbath

Once again, great work, you two.
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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby AlexSean » Tue Dec 14, 2010 6:03 am

apologies for being late on the vote but...

Sabbath, your match was well-written but I think you try and fit too much of the storylines and such in the settings when that's really what the commentators should be doing. I think if you focused more on the in-ring aspect and expanded on it in the settings and had the commentators explain the storylines it would really improve your work. Granted I'm sure you could make your own style work but I just didn't feel it very much in this match.

thefan, I really liked almost every part of your match except for when the Animal Planet guy was narrating. Obviously your style is a little unconventional but this was all really well-written stuff.

Vote: thefan

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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby Angelus » Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:30 am

Very tough. Very tough indeed... actually very similar styles as DJS is slightly narrative in his matches and the the is well, the fan.

I'm going to have to go with Jack, he's been putting out some great matches and been really unlucky with the opponents he's had.

Fan, I am enjoying your work but feel maybe the comedy'esque stuff may be better suited to the promos than the actual match. Saying that I do love your writing.
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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby thefan » Wed Dec 15, 2010 1:17 am

DJS: Dude, your match had me smiling from start to finish.

I know my style is not easy to work with, but you incorporated it into your own in a way that left me feeling very satisfied and apart from personnal ego, having no qualms whatsoever about your version of events being the official history (and mine confined to wibble away in an alternative universe :swink: ... I am VERY flattered that you had Scorps mention that again, I bet it went over most peoples heads!)

I like that you had the guts to squash me, yet at the same time sell my character like I try to myself. I would have been insulted if someone had my character suddenly turn into some technical grappling wizard just for the sake of writing a "mark" style wrestling match. Like I say my character is not the easiest to work with, but you did it proud. Thank you.

Also I like your style, your narration is quite interactive though in a more subtle way than mine of course :sbiggrin:

Everyone else: Thanks for the constructive criticism, I do take note (see Angelus, I had my teeth fixed for this match :slaugh: and Alex don't worry, I won't be hiring that Animal Planet guy again, the fanfans told me about him after I woke up :sangry: )
may it be a lesson to us all :(
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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby Rob » Sat Dec 18, 2010 12:48 am

mmm so... when did the fan learn to spell?
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Re: Massacre: Diamond Jack Sabbath vs. The Fan

Postby Dysfunctional » Sat Dec 18, 2010 4:19 am

I guess he transforms into a grammatical genius when he writes his matches. Half the times, he could care less whether he has spelling errors or not. As long as we can read it, there's really no need for editing now is there?

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