XWA Television Championship
Smith Jones © vs Johnny Coolbreeze
Ahem. Introducing, from...sigh...”The Coolest Place on Earth”
~If I could write you a song and make you fall in love
The multi-coloured strobe of a discotheque engulfs the arena, moving in rhythm of Mike Posner's "Cooler Than Me"...
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used up all of my tricks, I hope that you like this.
But you probably won't. You think you're cooler than me.~
...weighing in at 255 pounds and standing 6' 5”! He is the “Coolest Guy on the Internet”... JOHNNY! COOLBREEZE!!
'Big' Johnny Coolbreeze steps onto the stage in a set of tight leather pants and a half-buttoned silk Hawaiian print shirt and a pair of white frame'd & blue lens'd wraparound shades. He takes his hands, and runs them through his hair, slicking it back real...cool-like. After a moment of taking in all of the adoration (he wishes) he continues down the aisleway, taunting and jeering at the uncools in attendance.
At the end of the aisle, Johnny steps up onto the steel steps, scanning over the immediate crowd before removing from his pocket...a bottle! He raises it up in the air, with a camera panning in for a close up of the label; “Midnight Steel”! He offers a smug grin and a slow nod, encouraging direction to be had at his signature fragrance.
What a marketing opportunity!
Johnny takes the musky spray and fills a cloud of it in front of him, stepping into the scent, engulfing himself in it. Amid mock vomiting from the front row fans. He locks eyes with a hottie in the front though, and makes his way closer to her.
Johnny moves close to the barricade, getting chummy with the hottie. He's mouthing something to her, a bit inaudibly, but most likely was something “romantic”-ish. Johnny brings the bottle of Midnight Steel up close to her, even removing the cap. She kindly backs up, pushing the bottle away from her, politely. Johnny doesn't really take no for an answer, stepping over the barricade and presenting it closer to him – to which this time she decks him with the stinging echo of the coldest slap you ever heard! The impact sends him reeling back, leaning off the barricade with one hand. The hottie takes him by the back of his short-hair and, with the help of an event security, throws Johnny back over the barricade and to a heap on the floor. Johnny is quick to pick himself up, even offering the hottie a seductive wink...a wink which of course she can only roll her eyes to.
Johnny turns his attention to his opponent as he marches up the steps, stepping between the middle and top ropes. Once in the ring he climbs onto the second rope in the corner, and raises his Midnight Steel up in the air once more as the bell is rung.
All of the arena lights blast to full white as Linkin' Park's "Don't Stay" hits the speakers. Two large riot cops known as the Ministry of Truth appear side by side somewhere out in the crowd. Suddenly, the lights all go pitch dark. Moments later, all of the spotlights flood their section of the crowd and Smith Jones is now between them adorned in his ornate white full-length robe with sparkly silver trim. His robe is open so we can see that he has the XWA World Television Championship locked safely around his waist. The riot cops escort Smitty through the crowd all the way down to ringside. Smith hops the barricade and mounts the steel ring steps while the Ministry of Truth takes positions at ringside. Goldstein watches the entrance ramp while O’Brien watches the crowd. Smith Jones wipes his feet respectfully on the ring apron and then parts the ropes, taking centre.
From Toronto, Ontario, Canada... weighing in at two hundred twenty-nine pounds... he is the XWA Television Champion... there is only one
... SMITH JONES!!!
Jones unsnaps the title belt and raises it high above his head with one hand to a round of boos from the crowd. Jones smiles to himself and kisses the faceplate of the title before handing it to the referee. He shrugs his robe off and lets it hit the mat behind him as he moves to the ropes and stretches up for another mat war.
The crowd roared in anticipation for the onset of the now-impromptu Television Title contest. Reigning-Champion Smith Jones took a long look at sizing up sudden replacement opponent. Yes, Big Johnny Coolbreeze was certainly a whole other kind of size for Smith to prepare for over Carmen Cambridge, although perhaps the attitudes were the same. For Smith, this wasn’t just a match, it was yet another title defense of his prized possession in a rare contest of mutual, competitive respect. For Johnny, title opportunities didn’t come his way often, this even being his first one-on-one shot in his entire near three year career. Johnny was hungry. And not just for a plate of nachos either…
Smith approached Johnny as he attempted to slide into a grapple, but Johnny had other plans as he buried an elbow into the champ’s side, getting a groan out of him in the process. Johnny continued the assault with a mirrored elbow from the other arm to make his other side match, causing Smith to suck in a deep breath in an attempt to withstand it...that brief moment of distraction allows Johnny to step in, bashing Smith’s forehead with his own in a crushing headbutt, sending Smith staggering back to a knee!
Sanction: Smart by Coolbreeze here, he’s obviously studied tape knowing that Smith is a technician’s technical wrestler and not a brawler. Johnny is keeping the fight in his own wheelhouse.
Tempest: The champion is certainly fighting from the backfoot here, but I’m not counting him out. Johnny can be as cunning as he is loud, and that’s a lot of cunning. But there’s a reason Smith has the resume he has!
Smith slowly starts to get to his feet, albeit not without a hand holding his head from the shot. Johnny is all too eager to “help” him up, only to grab him by the wrist, sending him into the ropes chest first. Just as Smith hits the ropes, Johnny is right behind him with a crushing lariat to the back, knocking the champion through the ropes - but to the apron! Johnny takes a step back and admires his work, he always loved it when a plan came together...
With Smith in such a vulnerable position, Johnny raised his right arm in the air, pulling his elbow pad down to expose the bare joint, and aiming right at Smith’s face.
Sanction: This can’t possibly end well…
Smith slowly starts to pull himself up with the ropes as Johnny makes his dash across the ring, bringing his elbow up - when Smith DUCKS! Veteran instincts by Smith left him the wherewithal to duck underneath Johnny’s telegraphed strike, then with the big challenger extended, Smith was quick to bring his knee up and into Johnny’s chin! At that moment Johnny’s eyes got super glossy like, leaving Smith to pull him the rest of the way through the ropes, shoving him to the floor in a heap!
Tempest: You were right, that didn’t end well...for Johnny. He got a bit too carried away there and Smith bided his time and made him pay.
Johnny was barely stirring, at least on all fours on the floor, when Smith came down off the apron for a short jump, double foot stomp to Johnny’s spine, the impact sending Johnny nonchalantly chest first to the floor. You could almost hear some approval of the Battlezone for Smith...almost, but then you know, you remember that Smith Jones is just as much of an asshole as Johnny is obnoxious and it was kinda a wash. I mean, really, who do you want as your fighting champion, the loudmouth musk scented man, or the man who had the demeanor of a silent hitman in the ring?
“Come on, Johnny, fight me!” Smith called out as he kicked Johnny over onto his back. “Get up…” Smith let the words fall out as he reached down and brought Johnny up in a reverse front facelock, holding him there, threatening a reverse DDT. He started to drop, until Johnny wrapped his leg around Smith’s, the two using that to mutually break their holds.
Sanction: Smart. Smith knew if he dropped Johnny, Johnny would trip him first and most likely make him take the brunt of the fall.
Tempest: Where as Johnny would stand to gain more by forcing the break than going for the extra damage from the trip. Guess Johnny has some level of intelligence after all. That’s a weird sentence…
Johnny spun around eyeing up Smith, who gave him a passing nod. Mild amusement, I suppose. Smith again leaned in to lock up with Johnny, who again launched an elbow to block, but this time Smith side-stepped, stepping behind the big guy and applying a rear waistlock!
Sanction: Johnny is no ring general, and Smith knew that Johnny would go back to the same counter...Smith used that to his advantage.
Tempest: Now...you can tell me what he’s going to do with the big man in his grip.
With a heave, Smith lifts Johnny off his feet, but only gets a couple of inches as Johnny kicks his feet away to scramble back to the floor! Smith rotated the waistlock some, now lining up with the steel barricade behind him, his goal now clear - throw the big man somehow into the steel. Smith lets out a grunt and a heave as he lifts Johnny again, but this time Johnny places his hands on the bottom rope, gripping them tightly as he passes by and stopping the throw right where it started.
Tempest: Seems we’re at a stand-still…
Finally, with a very guttural, loud grunt and a loooonnnggggg heave, Smith gets Johnny up AGAIN, though Johnny shifts his weight around and Smith loses his balance with the big man in his grip. The result? The most awkward looking belly-to-back suplex ever that sees Johnny crack the back of his head on the railing, but also sends Smith into the railing kidney first! Smith yelps out in pain as he falls to the floor, Johnny landing face down next to him…
Sanction: Luckily our barricades aren’t sharp.
Tempest: Right? I hear impaling your kidneys aren’t a strong plan for success…
Sanction: Hey, Temp? We’re still at our stand-still…
Almost immediately on the bad landing referee Tommy Tickles slides out of the ring to check on the two. He didn’t seem the least bit interested in warning the two of an impending double count out. And, that was a decision the entirety of the Battlezone seemed to enjoy too. We always want a winner, especially so in our main events, and double especially so when there was a title on the line!
Smith was first to wake up, albeit not getting up as he surveyed the wreckage. Disappointed he botched his suplex, though maybe it was bound to happen at some point working with a bigger man. It was still effective, at least. Johnny still hadn’t gotten up, however. Perhaps out of just instinct alone, Smith rolled Johnny over onto his back, throwing his arm over him in a cover. It didn’t take long before he remembered where he was. Looking up though, that ring could have been a thousand miles away…
Sanction: Johnny has got to be out on his back right now, if only Smith could get Johnny into the ring. He’d probably have this won right now…
Tempest: Yeah, but if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass when he hopped.
Sanction: Either way, Johnny should probably learn to not block suplex attempts with his head and steel barricades. I mean, for his future health and all. Not sure how much he’s got to have left in the tank after that in all honesty.
At this point, Smith gets back to his feet and returns to the ring under the bottom rope, letting Tommy begin the count.
Johnny lifts his head up, cognizant of the count at least.
Tempest: Well at least he’s conscious. The one way you hate to see a big fight end is with a move gone wrong.
Johnny sits up, and much like Smith before him, the ring looked a thousand miles out!
“C’mon, Big Johnny...this is your shot…”
Seemingly his self-peptalk pushes him forward, on all fours, towards the ring, slowly…
He reaches out for the ring apron, grabbing it loosely in his hands.
“C’mon Johnny...don’t let Smith win this way. Show him you belong, in this spot…”
10 - Reaching up, Johnny grabs the top of the ring apron and pulls himself under the bottom rope just before Tommy could wave the match off! Smith raises an eye at Johnny’s willingness to continue despite his possible concussion., but he doesn’t let it sway his plan of action.
Sanction: The problem now is while Johnny was barely trying to beat the count, Smith has had all the time in the world to recover. That’s not a position you want the veteran to be in.
Smith “helps” Johnny up this time to a seated position, only to lay a single open-palm chop to the big man’s chest! A hushed “woooooooooo” falls over the crowd at the stinging impact as Johnny cringes from it. Smith goes for a second, but this one Johnny catches! Johnny pushes up on Smith’s arm, using that leverage to get to his feet. Johnny then goes low with a toe kick to the abdomen, followed by a double-fisted sledge, (or Polish hammer as it’s called by some workers) to the face, which Smith manages to duck leaving Johnny far over-extended. In the distraction, Smith takes Johnny, spins him around and throws him overhead with a snap “Take it Home” into the ring ropes, watching as Johnny collapses onto the mat in a heap.
Tempest: He can’t have much right now.
Moving in stride, Smith ascends to the top rope, coming down onto Johnny with a bit of “Visual Music” of his own, an ohsocrisp diving moonsault onto the challenger, holding the leg on landing. Tommy drops down to count;
Hana Ramirez: Your winner as a result of a pinfall, and STILL the XWA Television Champion. SMMMIIITTTHHHHHH JOOOONNNNEEEESSS!!!
Sanction: Whoa. I...didn’t expect that? Johnny fought hard to get back into the ring, but then when he did…
Tempest: A number of things went wrong there. The time he gave Smith to recover. The botched suplex. The natural experience factor Smith had overall.
Sanction: Still, the champion retains. But I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if not for that landing with the barricade...congrats to Smith of course, he’s the man for a reason. You know?
Tempest: I get it. Most predicted Smith over Carmen, no one thought Johnny could get the job done, then when he tried that awful accident happened and...it was clear Johnny wasn’t himself after that, now you wonder how the match could have gone different had that suplex not happened.
Sanction: Maybe in the future. For now, godspeed Johnny Coolbreeze, and congratulations to Smith Jones on another incredible title defense!