[VOTE] XWA On A Pole MAIN EVENT: Dan Bennett vs. A.J. Morales - HARDCORE TITLE!

Matches and segments that occurred on our 2018 Supershow- XWA On A Pole!
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GiggityGopher
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Re: [VOTE] XWA On A Pole MAIN EVENT: Dan Bennett vs. A.J. Morales - HARDCORE TITLE!

Postby GiggityGopher » Wed Apr 04, 2018 2:10 am

Dan Bennett
What I liked:
The commentary was very good all throughout the match. I specifically liked early on, them talking about things happening in the past for both wrestlers. Good continuity, there. I also enjoy that it focused on both characters, not just Dan, which is something you did very well in all aspects. Both wrestlers had personality, they both looked good. A.J. looked amazing, actually, between his athleticism and how smart a lot of his moments were. Your descriptive ability was great and you had a lot of small things that really added to the match for me, like mentioning A.J. checking the cable before jumping onto it, to see how it holds, and that instant replay, which is something we don't see often in eFedding. The action was amazing all throughout the post. It was incredibly original stuff and all very well done, including the finish. The finish felt like the kind of situation where, as a fan, you wouldn't be able to tell if this was a legit injury or a really well done work and I loved that. (Not to mention, the spot was good).

What I disliked:
Honestly, I'm just picking at the bottom of the barrel here for something. There was some coding errors, like a bold tag mess-up and the action color being changed to the commentators' name color for a bit, but none of that is a big deal. Likewise, in a not-a-big-deal way, some of the commentary was kinda delayed a bit in its placement, but that's understandable, given that it can be difficult in eFedding to have the commentary exactly where you want it to be. Honestly, there's not really anything else I can thing to mention here and even this is just nitpicking.

Personal Favourite Part:
Fuck, there's so much to choose from here. Early on, I didn't think anything would top the creativity and, just, awesomeness of that German Suplex spot, with Dan leaping onto A.J. and latching onto him. The spot itself was great, but the way it was written out made it so much better. But then there was also A.J. launching his mic stand into Dan's taped shoulder, the Emerald Flowsion with that quote (I didn't know what the quote was from, but the commentators did a great job of making me realizes its role) and the finish itself. I'd have to say, though, in a very close race here, my favorite part was the Poised Hurricanrana.

Personal Least Favourite Part:
Morales waving for Dan to get into the ring and the audience laughing. I didn't dislike what Morales did, I just thought laughter wasn't a fitting reaction to it being done. Very small thing, but I struggled to find something to write here.

Constructive Criticism for Next Time:
Fuck if I know. I don't think I have anything I can tell you here that'll help you improve past what you're already capable of.

Final Comments:
As someone who's never read one of your matches before (somehow), I was very impressed with this. For a match that just ends with A.J. having the title regardless, you put in a lot of effort and made it a great read.

A.J. Morales
What I liked:
I liked the commentary team recapping the rest of the night, as well as the match having in-ring introductions. That's always been something I like seeing for title matches. It makes them feel bigger. Dueling chants to start the match off also help to make it feel bigger. Your descriptions were really good and I enjoyed the thoroughness, especially in bits such as mentioning the steel humming from the vibrations after A.J. was thrown into it. Like Dan, you did a really good job with both characters, not just your own. You got both of their personalities across, they both looked good, well done there. Also like Dan, you had good continuity with bringing up Bennett's arm situation and did some interesting stuff with that getting targeted. The action was really good. A lot of fast-paced stuff that you'd expect in a match of this nature. I loved the finish and the post-match was also very well done, with A.J. showing respect to Dan.

What I disliked:
[i]From what I understand, I may be in the minority on this in XWA, but I don't like when the commentary is so frequent. I think Dan had a good balance in his post, whereas the commentary-to-action ratio was a bit too close in yours. I don't think big walls of text are needed, but I'm just, personally, not a fan of commentary cutting in this much as it disrupts the flow of the match for me. Granted, I know it's more realistic to commentary in actual pro wrestling, but it's one of those things I feel needs to be a bit different in eFedding to make it work. Also, something DJS said to me in a vote a while back, I agree with, and that's that it's a bit weird seeing dialogue for certain bits of wrestlers talking. If it's a situation where the wrestler should, by all rights, be heard by the audience or be picked up by the cameras, I think it's fine, but the little exchange between Amy and A.J. seemed like something that wouldn't have been picked up. I think it would've been better had you just mentioned them saying something to each other. Leave it a bit ambiguous, as it would've felt for people actually watching it. Pretty small things here, though.


Personal Favourite Part:
I loved the Meteora from the cable, especially with the transition into the Fujiwara Armbar. I'm also a big mar for mid-air catches, so the Superkick and Spinebuster were great for me. Finishing spot was also very good. I'd have to give my personal favorite moment, though, not to a bit of action, but rather commentary. I loved Steel bring up Dan's last title reign being ended due to inactivity and comparing it to holding the Hardcore title, which gets defended frequently. Not a big spot or anything, but a really good introspective from one of the commentators.

Personal Least Favourite Part:
Not really much of anything to put here. I guess the bit with Amy and A.J. talking, although I liked the actual dialogue, but for the reason I mentioned earlier.

Constructive Criticism for Next Time:
My main thing would be to use just a bit less commentary breaks next time. I think you actually did an amazing job with the commentary itself, but, again, a personal thing for me is that it's a slight bit too disruptive to the match. But, again, I might be in the minority of that.

Final Comments:
Is this also the first match I've read of yours? I feel like it is. Either way, it was also really impressive. This felt like a big-deal match from the get-go and it ended up feeling like that all the way until the show ended.

VERDICT
Winner:
The similar, but slightly different interactions between Dan and Amy was interesting to see, in both posts. It was also interesting to see how both fedders had their own character play more of the heel role in this, while still both coming off as overall face. I felt Dan had the more unique action and storytelling, as well as descriptions. A.J. did some stuff that I enjoyed a bit more in his post, though, such as the recap of the rest of the night and, albeit too frequent, I preferred his commentary a bit. Both had great finishes and post-match, but Dan's was a more interesting take, while A.J.'s was a more big-match feel (as far as post-match goes). In the end, I'm gonna have to give this one to Dan Bennett, though it doesn't really matter from a Hardcore Championship perspective, since A.J. retains, regardless. Both posts were phenomenal, but it's Dan's originality that really edged it in his direction for me.
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Re: [VOTE] XWA On A Pole MAIN EVENT: Dan Bennett vs. A.J. Morales - HARDCORE TITLE!

Postby Christian_Andrews » Thu Apr 05, 2018 2:23 am

Dan The Man
What I liked: Earlier on, your commentary made me laugh. I liked how descriptive you went in several of your scenes where I felt like I was watching your match live. I found myself cheering and hurting with emotions, going back and forth the more I read which is an awesome accomplishment! Overall, you're a great writer and it definitely shows through!

What I disliked: The commentary unfortunately grew old to me, and as someone who doesn't know as much about XWA past as the next guy, it was a little tiresome hearing about ex-stars and all of these tributes that Dan was doing to those men. As someone who didn't have ties there, it meant very little to me. There was also a LOT of commentary, more than I might necessarily have used myself, although I wouldn't count that against you realistically because I'm not sure the overall style here yet. Also, the constant reminding of Dan's fear of heights was bewildering to me, as it seemed unnecessarily beat in.

Personal Favorite Part: When Dan felt remorse for putting AJ through the table trying to keep him down, I felt like I could really feel his empathy there. And to see him struggle with it brought so much realness to the match setting, I can't even begin to describe it. That was by far, hands down, my favorite moment.

Personal Least Favorite Part: The Mic Stand throw that happened to hit Dan RIGHT in the money spot on his shoulder. As someone who has used mic stands plenty of times before, that seemed a little far-fetched to do.

Constructive Criticism for Next Time: Maybe focus less on who you're attributing moves to, and more on describing them happening? And again, I really liked hearing your guys thoughts and feelings about his moves... although the actual talking out loud did very little to motivate me to cheer him on. Perhaps forgo that next time unless he's in a scenario where he should be heard? I didn't feel like that was appropriate.

Final Comments: I REALLY hope you don't take my negativity at all here as hateful or spite, I really enjoyed reading your side and it really spoke to me as a writer myself and influenced me in ways to improve my own stuff. There was A LOT more that I enjoyed, than I didn't. Like overwhelmingly so. I feel like everyone will probably point that stuff out, so I wanted to really hone in on the few things that stuck out to me that others might not specifically speak out about. I know I'd prefer someone to do that with me, so that I can truly get better, constantly. :D You rock though, seriously.

AJ "THE HARDCORE CHAMPION" Morales.
What I liked: I really liked the ebb and flows of your story, and how you portrayed both characters here. I felt more into both of your characters reading your side, then I was specifically with just AJ and it felt more realistic from a fan watching the match point of view. Your descriptions by the way, were incredibly on point!

What I disliked: Maybe it's just me, but again the commentary seemed to drag on for far too long, way too much. I loved the flow of the match when I read it without commentary, but with commentary I didn't really enjoy it the first read through because of how many interruptions there appeared to be.

Personal Favourite Part: The mid-air Superkick (I believe was already mentioned earlier but still).... that made me mark out. I remember Shawn Michaels doing it to I believe it was Shelton Benjamin, and that's totally the scene that replayed reading it. I actually got excited lol.

Personal Least Favourite Part: Really, just the commentary. I didn't like the amount of interruptions.

Constructive Criticism for Next Time: Maybe spend a little more time grouping the action together and a little less separating it with commentary?

Final Comments: I loved your match, and I enjoyed reading it through, even after I dissected it for this lol. You're a really talented writer, and it's cool seeing how you use your descriptive nature to emphasize things your character is doing / feeling!

VERDICT
Winner:
After reading through both and seeing the action sequences and how well both wrestlers were portrayed, as well as accounting for my own "in house" experience and how I felt being there and watching the matches live, I would have to give the edge to Dan Bennett. Seeing the damage toll up for Dan, and the ending that eclipsed almost the match itself, along with Dan's "thumbs up".... I felt like I would have enjoyed watching that just a tad bit more than AJ's. All in all though, you both are incredibly talented and it was an honor just being able to read through and have a say! Keep up the good work, I can't wait to read more!
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Re: [VOTE] XWA On A Pole MAIN EVENT: Dan Bennett vs. A.J. Morales - HARDCORE TITLE!

Postby DJS » Mon Apr 09, 2018 5:41 pm

Winner: Dan Bennett.

However, also, once again Hardcore Champion, A.J. Morales!
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