(Canadian is out of town, asked me to post this.)
The camera opens to the backstage area of the AT&T Center in San Antonio revealing a very solemn and dour looking Holly Hunt standing just outside of a dressing room marked “Jericho Shaw”. Since Shaw’s last match with Bella Quinn he has been unusually silent about his dominant victory which was clearly a message to Razer. The champion as he has demonstrated from his prior victories is not one to shy away from gloating. She shakes her head slowly and sighs deeply rapping against the door three times. There is a baited silence as an unfamiliar female voice replies to the woman from behind the door. Unseen Female Voice:
Mr. Shaw will see you now.
As the door opens Holly and her trusty microphone pass through and are astonished at what they see. The champion is standing on a raised pedestal almost completely surrounded by tall 6 feet mirrors. He’s adorned in a sharp slate grey Giorgio Armani suit as a small, balding (presumably Italian) man adjusts the hem at the bottom of the trousers. The undefeated, undisputed champion doesn’t even acknowledge Ms. Hunt as she enters the room and makes her way to him to attempt his scheduled pre match interview. Shaw is as self-absorbed as ever, looking over every single feature of himself in the series of mirrors nearly surrounding him. His eyes roll up making eye contact with the pretty blonde reporter before his nose turns up and exhales disappointed at who is greeting him.Jericho Shaw:
You’re not the other one.Holly Hunt:
The other one? No, she hasn’t worked for us in months Jericho…Whisper, Serena Maxwell assaulted and nearly killed her.Jericho Shaw:
That’s a pity, I liked her better.
Holly dismisses the lovely banter that the champion has so graciously greeted her with. She straightens out a jet black pencil skirt before forcibly continuing the interview forward. Holly Hunt:
Jericho do you have anything to say about what transpired last week against Bella Quinn. She was hospitalized for nearly four days and is expecting to be on the sidelines for the foreseeable future, was that all just to send a message to Razer? Do you have anything to say about that?Jericho Shaw:
What do you mean no, you nearly beat a woman to death and after you pinned her, you clearly were attempting to deliver the Kingslayer against her. Do you feel any kind of remo-Jericho Shaw:
Bella Quinn is a woman, therefore she cannot be Kingslayed, she was almost Queenslayed, please Ms. Hunt do your research.Holly Hunt:
Whatever, was that a message to Razer, and do you have anything else to say about the situation?
Jericho quickly grows irritated at her repetitious line of questioning and then shoo’s Enzo (His tailor) and Gabby (His assistant for this promo) out of the room. He turns around facing Holly and the appointed XWA cameramen before retorting to her original point. Jericho Shaw:
Listen, last week was a wrestling match, plain and simple. Bella Quinn has been gallivanting around the locker room doing and saying whatever she damn well pleases. She had been under the assumption that because she was Razer’s girlfriend she was safe. There is no such thing as safety Ms. Hunt, you are all ants waiting to be stepped on. Why should Laurel Anne Hardy, the proprietor of a lesser title be given an opportunity that I, Jericho Shaw, the greatest Heavyweight Champion of the Modern era has ever produced not be given. What I did to Bella Shaw was absolutely a message to Razer and had he been a real man, he would have stepped into the ring long before he did.
Razer watched from the sidelines we clawed, bit, struck, suplexed and tore at one another. Razer allowed me the opportunity to participate, because he knew he could never provide his lady that kind of thrill. Is that love Ms. Hunt? To watch your loved ones be beaten and do nothing and be impotent to stop it? No, I showed Bella Quinn something that Razer could never show her. The contest between Bella and I, was constricting, sweaty, our bodies rolling against one another in pure unrestricted passion, we were getting along so fine, and I was just about to finish Ms. Quinn off…until her boyfriend meandered into the ring.
Honestly, I think she was disappointed...
I know I was.
Holly Hunt is obviously taken aback by the introductory statement of the champion which attempts to rationalize and gratify his hellacious attack against the woman. Her well-groomed eyebrows raise as she mentally maneuvers her thought process to move the interview forward. She clears her throat, standing adjacent to the champion who has now cemented a fine smirk against his jaw. Holly Hunt:
Jericho, this week you have been paired against Laurel Anne Hardy, you’ve only interacted with the woman one time and that was when you stole her hardcore title. She is one of two competitors who you will be facing in the title unification bout at Last Man Standing, what are your thoughts on her and that upcoming contest?
The Jackal rubs his thumbs and his index fingers together just in front of his chin as he contemplates the answer. His eyes shift back and forth as he surmises the exact perfect set of words to describe his current feelings…Spoiler alert, they’re weird. Jericho Shaw:
Well Ms. Hunt, to be perfectly honest, I may have underestimated Laruel Anne Hardy.
Holly is immediately shocked as she was not at all prepared to hear Jericho Shaw say something nice a human being not named Jericho Shaw. The champion nods confidently to himself as he’s finally figured out his pre-match speech. Like everything else Jericho Shaw does, it will be pristine. He adjusts a muted, matte silver tie, notably wearing two different…Shades of Grey. (Apparently there are 50) Jericho Shaw:
Laurel Anne Hardy is not a particularly attractive woman, her features are plain and asymmetrical. She’s too tall for her body type and her sense of clothing sense is abysmal. She routinely wears glittery onesies and enters to Jap-pop, or whatever. Her interviews are contrived, and like every woman she speaks far too often. Despite being thin, she is not particularly well formed, or athletic for that matter. For a woman in her position, as the hardcore champion she is deceptively, average. However there is something about her that is exceptionally appealing,
And that there is an unmeasurably value to a woman that likes it rough.
Shaw exhales slowly finishing that sentiment, allowing himself to think about the matches of the woman. She is a self-described ultra-violence specialist. Not afraid to administer a beating or receive one, and as shown through her well documented career in other organizations, she has quite the penchant for creative violence. After the dramatic line, Shaw allows himself to continue.Jericho Shaw:
It was after my encounter with Bella that I began to appreciate her, but as the contest waned on it was clear that she was out of her depth. Despite stealing Katniss Everdeen’s nicknamed, the Girl on Fire could not handle the heat and eventually she broke. I remember, the exact moment that her spirit dwindled and at that second, I grew bored with her. Laurel Anne Hardy, from what I have seen
And believe me,
I have spent this week watching.
She is not a woman to be so easily quenched, she has a desire, no a thirst for that kind of violence. She craves it like oxygen and grew so bored with her division she carved her hardcore title into her head for some satisfaction and tonight the thought of testing that limit has me very excited. I have been looking forward to this for what feels like an eternity. But I know for a fact that she won’t be alone, she’ll bring an assortment of toys to help in “our fun”
S & M….Almost
S and L.
Shaw and Laurel. Now if you’ll excuse me Ms Hunt, I have a match to prepare for.
It will be, intimate.
[/center][/b]The video segment ends abruptly as a well-crafted edit brings the camera to ringside where our renowned three man announce team prepare to call the main event of the evening. Two of the three men at ringside have confused looks on their faces. The camera zooms up on their table as they prepare to reflect on what they’ve just seen.[/center][/b]Mark Sanction:
Well folks, that was certainly interesting and we have definitely never seen this side of the champion before. Rose what do you think?Rose:
It’s bizarre. Jericho Shaw is what happens when you give a 23 year old all the talent in the world and no proper role models to work with. Jericho treats people as objects for his amusement, it makes me sick. Matt Steel:
Yo, the champion’s suit game is top notch if you didn’t bother to notice, and he absolutely has the best role model you could ask for. I mean, if you forgot that DGX is kind of a big deal around these parts. Did you forget Rose, did you?Rose:
No Matt, I did not because you manage to bring it up every single week.Mark Sanction:
Rose, this match Laurel vs Shaw…can you break it down for us? They haven’t fought before, what do you expect.Rose:
Well chaos, Laurel isn’t the kind of competitor who functions under any kind of presumed rule set, so Diamond Jack’s Sabbath’s particular penchant for Anarchy is completely beneficial to the woman. In that regard, I’d say she has the advantage. It is also worth noting, that although it was nearly a decade ago, Jericho Shaw’s last loss is against Chris Novak, who was also something of a hardcore specialist. If Shaw has a weakness to this, Laurel is going to be a tough match. However, what Shaw brings to the table is an almost feral understanding of fundamental striking techniques. His use of angular movement and the textbook boxing jab has brought down, every single opponent he’s ever faced. He somehow manages to always use his opponent’s strengths against them and he seems motivated to hurt Laurel.Mark Sanction:
All I know is that this is one is going to be bloody, parents please ask the young children to leave the room, this isn’t going to be something you’ll want them watching.
At this point, the ever lovely Hana Remierez enters the ring swaying between the bottom and lower ropes. The crowd hoots and hollers their affection to the woman who moves to the center of the ring to announce both competitors in the main event this evening.Hana Ramierez:
Introducing first, from Rhys, Wales, standing 5’4 and weight 148 lbs. Her skill is known all across the globe and her record in the XWA is an impressive one. She is the Hardcore Champion and one of three competitors who will be entered in the Title Unification bought at Last Man Standing. She is The Living, Breathing, Installation Event of the Millennium Laurel Anne Hardy!
As Shonen Knife's "Cookie Day" hits the speakers, Laurel Anne Hardy bursts straight through the curtain, screaming with pure energy. She dances down to ringside, slapping fans' outstretched hands all the way. After touring all around the guardrails, hugging fans and complimenting homemade signs, Hardy slides into the ring and runs up a corner where she poses before pulling off her brightly coloured feather boa and tossing it into the crowd, prompting a scrum to catch it. Laurel drops to a sitting position and headbutts the top of the ringpost to hype herself up, then pops back to her feet and straight into a backflip down to the middle of the ring where she takes a deep, theatrical bow. Hana Ramierez:
Laurel has a strange smile on her face as she stares blankly at the adjacent ring post. Her body seems exceptionally loose and relaxed, despite the fact she is about to wrestle against a competitor with the longest winning streak in XWA history ever. Hana Remierez, subtly shakes her head as she takes a deep breath…getting ready to recite the verbal essay that is the entrance of Jericho Shaw.
Introducing next, he stands at a marvelous 6’1 and weighs in officially at 219 lbs. He is the 2014 Lord of the Ring winner and has defeated every single competitor he has ever faced in the XWA. His winning streak is the longest in the modern era and he is the only man to have ever held every single title in the XWA at the same time. He is the undefeated, undisputed, World Heavyweight Champion. He is known as “The Undefeated Juggernaut, “The Kingslayer” “The Jackal” Jericho Shaw!
The lights dim to a faded black as a slow piano accompaniment plays over the speakers. The San Antonio crowd is initially confused as it gently and non-aggressively plays through the PA system. Jericho Shaw usually enters the arena with a different song every week, and as the women in the audience are vehemently aware the temperature of the building rises a good 15 degrees Fahrenheit.Mark Sanction:
I look and stare so deep in your eyes
I touch on you more and more every time
When you leave I'm begging you not to go
Call your name two or three times in a row
Such a funny thing for me to try to explain
How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame
And I still don't understand
Just how your love could do what no one else can
Well folks this has taken another weird twist. Jericho Shaw, is apparently a fan of Sparkly Vampire based Fan Fiction. Matt Steel:
You mean Twilight and 50 Shades of GreyMark Sanction:
Everytime we say that, the XWA owes them money. Matt Steel:
Well, whatever, If Shaw’s a fan…I’m a fan.Rose:
What a shock.
As the next line utters “Got me looking so crazy right now” Shaw emerges from the curtain, slowly. Mark Sanction:
He’s still clad in the multi-toned grey suit from earlier and he stands at the center of the ramp. The only color the champion is wearing is the gleaming gold title from across his waist. Instead of the usual cavalcade of hatred Jericho Shaw is met with a disquieting silence. His eyes lock forward down the ramp to his opponent and he casually walks towards her. His gaze is hot and fixated at the woman, ready to see if the pressure will turn her into diamond or crumble her into dust. Eventually Shaw enters the ring and as he does, he’s pounced on!
Immediately Hana Remierez vacates the ring and Junior referee Jack Tickles calls for the bell to ring officially singling the beginning of the match. The Hardcore champion digs and tears at her opponent with claws and elbow strikes wasting no time in her attack. Laurel Anne Hardy is well documented as an extremely fast starter and as two left elbows drive into the ill-prepared skull of the Heavyweight Champion she grabs his tie pulling it tighter. Jericho gasps for air as the intensity of the grip chokes against his windpipe. She pulls downward converting the left elbow strike into a single collar grip, using the momentum of the tie and the grip to adjust for the difference in weight to pull the champion into a textbook, Judoka Tomoe Nagi. The champion is flipped ass over heels and lands near the center of the ring. The crowd loudly exclaims at the situation hoping to motivate Laurel to continue and she does.
Jericho takes loud gasping breaths as he loosens the tie that was previously choking him. He removes as quick as possible, looking up to see his brunette competitor launch herself into the air, knee pointed outward to his skull. The glittery patella of Laurel Anne Hardy stings against the cheek of the Kingslayer, jerking his head to the side and knocking him to the ground. The jarring shot disorients the champion, but he manages to carry the warewithal to roll with the impact of the strike and immediately evacuate the ring space that Laurel had been dominating.
This is why you never wear a suit to the ring!Rose:
You know, I’m enjoying this.
Shaw takes the precious moments he’s created to gather some space and clear his cobwebs. There isn’t much time though, as the Living Installation Event of the Millennium has by this time ricocheted off of the ropes and gathered her momentum diving between the top and middle rope, executing a suicide dive against her opponent. Hardy’s weight clashes against the body of the champion who is pushed straight backwards into the barricade. His spine arches forward against the hard metal rails and his body collapses slightly under the impact. The Heavyweight Champion is grabbed by the wrist and then shunted forward in an Irish whip straight into the metal stairs adjacent to the ringside. There’s a loud pop as Jericho is slammed into the stairs.Rose:
Always the consummate show-woman Hardy completes a twirling pose, and a dramatic celebratory fist pump of her success in the match so far. She kicks her feet behind her like a bull and then runs towards her opponent. Mid stride she leaps onto the apron using the height advantage to make up between that of Shaw and her. Seeing approximately eye to eye with him, using her expect high flying style and impeccable provisional style she latches her legs around the neck of the Undefeated Juggernaut and twists, executing an apron jumping Hurricanrana.
Laurel Anne Hardy has had a resounding amount of success so far, and I have an idea as to why. Jericho Shaw is a very analytical opponent, despite “not” scouting his opponents…he has a good share of their mannerisms, and is able to improvise against them. Laurel is a chaotic individual and probably didn’t have a game plan that Shaw could counter.Mark Sanction:
That’s a good point Rose, however, if we’ve seen anything from Shaw it is his ability to react to whatever his opponent can muster up.Rose:
Laurel has one fault that I’ve noticed as a competitor and we’ll see if Shaw sees it later on in the match. Matt Steel:
Guaranteed he will dawg!
The Kingslayer’s dome bounces off of the canvas as Laurel’s unrelenting onslaught continues. Her giddy smile has been replaced by a sense of neutrality…like when a car loses that new car smell. She assists Jericho to his feet by the hair on his head and slides him under the bottom rope into the ring. She follows suit and quickly goes for the first pin of the evening. Hooking a leg up as Jack Tickles drops down to administer the count.Mark Sanction:
2-No! Just before the two count Jericho emphatically lifts a shoulder off of the mat. If there is a quality that cannot be denied about the champion it is his toughness. He is remarkably difficult to put away in a wrestling contest. Laruel stands up “helping” Jericho also and as soon as the two are up smacks at his chest with a firm knife edge chop. The attack has little effect given their size disparity, as immediately after Laurel sprints to the nearest set of ropes. She ricochets towards him and as Shaw attempts to counter with a clothesline she ducks generating even more momentum. She hops backwards flipping over latching her legs around the head of the champion. The colossal amount of momentum generated whips The Kingslayer over, causing him to fall victim to the L.A.H.O.O.K.
Jericho Shaw is just unable to mount an offense here!
Hardy smiles big for the crowd, ironically throwing up a peace sign to the San Antonio crowd, who reciprocate the gesture in kind. She pauses for a moment to catch her breath, the pace of the match beginning to show in the redness of her face. At the other end of the ring, Jericho Shaw has made his way to his feet, the grey Armani suit he chose to wear to the ring, suitable disheveled. He stands tall and finally has the space to move into a more kickboxing than wrestling stance. At the other end of the ring, Laruel has placed her fingers against her thumbs and lifted them high into the air. Her knee rises high in the Karate Kid Crane Stance, mocking the approach of the World Heavyweight Champion. Matt Steel:
Slowly the champion moves forward towards his opponent, it’s not often that it happens but he’s found himself faced against a southpaw opponent, switching many of his usual striking tendencies. He jabs outward and surprisingly connects. However as it does the champion is immediately met with a straight left hand punch. The huge disparity in range allows The Jackal to scout the retaliatory punch and the weave out of the way. Her left hand extended he throws a left of own, this time a hooking arced punch above her hip or as it is commonly known. The liver shot.
Get er champ, hit her in the ovaries! Right in the babymaker!Mark Sanction:
As Jericho strikes there is no visible show of pain on the face of the woman. Which the champion immediately finds disconcerting. Although she is nearly doubled over by the attack, it doesn’t even look like it has phased her and what’s more, as he’s stepped in for the hook she plunged forward successfully scoring a body lock against him. Laurel Anne positions her center of mass low attempting to disrupt the footing of the champion.Rose:
She pushes and twists forward, but is unable budge him and is met with a series of hard elbow strikes to her spine. Jericho digs his arm low between his stomach and her face, using the strength differential to pull her head backwards and alter her posture. This in turn raises her grip upwards giving him the space to throw a knee attack of his own, right into the core of the woman. Hardy’s grip is broken by the body strike but again she shows outward physical sign of pain. Shaw stiff arms the woman upward again, straightening her out completely. He repositions into a single high crotch grip flipping the woman over into a bodyslam. While she’s down he continues his attack delivering a hard set of size ten boots to her skull and mid-section.
I like that the champion is exploring a body attack in this match. Laruel Anne Hardy is exceptionally durable, and by wearing out the foundation he’s hoping he can knock the tower down.
Hardy openly welcomes the boots to her face, part terminator, part hipster. Adept at counters of her own she times Jericho with a boot in the air and then scissors his plant leg with hers disrupting his balance and knocking him over. She kips up immediately from the canvas watching as Shaw too wastes no time getting to his feet. He charges her like a bull grabbing for the double collar grip and immediately overpowers her backwards. She’s pushes until she finally jarred into the turnbuckle, crossing over his right grip into a stinging elbow against her jaw. The World Heavyweight Champion releases the grip and then with his hip swiveled to the side he recoils unleashing a vicious European Uppercut, straight underneath the jaw of the woman.Mark Sanction:
What an uppercut by Shaw!
The legs of the woman are lifted clean off of the ground by the impact of the strike and although the blow is disorienting still no cry of pain. Her perceived lack of interest is extremely aggravating to the champion, who finds himself becoming more and more temperamental. Once the Installation Event of the Millennium lands back on the canvas she is harshly whipped across the ring into the opposing set of turnbuckles as Shaw musters every single bit of torque he can muster into the shot. This time though she collapses face first to the mat after the impact. Mark Sanction:
Tired of this monotony The Jackal slides under the ropes and burrows beneath the ring. As he comes back into view he has brought a friend, in the form of a folding steel chair. His face is cold and determined. Reentering the ring, he stands eye to eye with Hardy who has since made her way to her feet. What’s interesting though is that as soon as she glimpses the familiar, friendly glare of the stage light on the chair she smiles. The champion raises the chair into the air and swings it downward, directly onto the cranium of the woman. The impact drops her to a knee, and as she stalls on her knees a warm trickling sensation begins to run down the top of her head, between eyes and down her nose. It perches itself on her bottom lip and as she sucks it inward, finally she laughs.
Jericho raises the chair again but is cold cocked on his jaw bone by a size five boot. The chair is loosened from his grasp and falls to his side. His legs dip but do not buckle and as Laurel charges him head first he braces for the impact. He is unmovable from this position, but that’s what she wants. Her shoulder is braced firm against his core as her legs flip from behind her, she nearly finishes a complete backwards rotation finally ending up with her arm around his neck. A headlock from this position can only mean one thing and Shaw immediately places his arms at the hips of the woman and using his brute strength pushes her off.
Laurel lands catlike on her two feet with the arms of his opponent outstretched and vulnerable. She grabs his wrists crossing them over one another creating a class one level with his elbows as the fulcrum. Despite their massive weight and size difference she flips the champion sideways with a Labai throw and as Jericho begins to rise he’s met with the second half of the Super Duper Acid Party.
Laurel Anne Hardy has a commanding lead, this could be the match!
Hardy drops onto Shaw hooking a leg and going for her second pin of the evening. Jack Tickles, does as he is obligated too and begins the count.Mark Sanction:
Despite the attack the champion manages to get a shoulder off of the mat following the two count, but she’s not depressed, actually now that the match has finally gotten interesting…she’s having some fun with it. She scans the canvas for the chair Shaw grabbed earlier and approaches it. She holds it dear and close to her chest, like a child would carry a teddy bear. She approaches the champion and begins a barrage of chair strikes to his back and skull. Once she’s sure he’s sufficiently hurt she too slides out of the ring, moving underneath into her toolbox to grab some things to play with. She hoists a table from underneath the ring and quickly places it against the turnbuckle, not evening managing to unfold the legs.
She picks up the chair and has another go at the Champion who is becoming less and less interesting by the moment. She has a brilliant idea and sticks her tongue to the side placing her hands by her hips in a “Give me a minute, I’m thinking pose.” She takes the damaged folding chair and then slides Jericho’s left hand into it.
No the other one.
She changes her mind, and then places the folding chair over Jericho’s right hand.
What is Laurel doing, left then right…make up your mind! Matt Steel:
Yo dawg, a woman, make up her mind the first time…yeah right!
After Hardy is satisfied with her decision she hops high into the air, using both boots to crush the chair between the right wrist of the World Heavyweight Champion…potentially breaking it. The champion bursts in agony, as the many small bones in his wrist, and his ulna are cracked. A deep
guttural scream, blows from his lungs and Laurel cheekily smiles.
She cheerily says, taking a deep breath and then hops out of the ring for a third time. She moves to the ringside attendant where grabs perhaps the only accessory Jericho Shaw had forgotten to bring to the ring. The XWA Hardcore Championship Crown! She re-enters the ring as Shaw kneels clutching his damaged arm. The pain is dizzying as he’s unaware of what Laurel is doing. She places the crown evenly on his head, but doesn’t like it, she tilts it to the left…and then the right, and then a little more to the left.[/center][/b]Mark Sanction:
Well, Jericho didn’t have this in mind when he wanted the Hardcore Title. Matt Steel:
This woman is sick, what is she doing!Rose:
I get it! A Crown for a Kingslayer! It’s no secret, that Rated X is quick to use references from Game of Thrones, and although Jamie Lannister (The true Kingslayer) gets his right arm cut off travelling with Brienne of Tarth…this is fiction, imitating wrestling, imitating art.Mark Sanction:
You’re saying this is art.Rose:
I’m saying it’s about to get bloody.
Laurel grabs her good friend chair and then feels the need to securely fasten the hardcore crown to the skull of the champion…by nailing it in, with the chair. Matt Steel:
“WHAT THE FUCK” “WHAT THE FUCK” “WHAT THE FUCK” “WHAT THE FUCK”
The audience gasps as a heavy stream of blood flows down his face. He can’t even scream as he’s lead upward and gently placed against the table connected to the turnbuckle, and then replaced, and placed again to make sure he’s in the perfect spot. He watches as Laurel skips across the ring and charges up at the opposite turnbuckle. Laruel Anne Hardy has used a tremendous amount of energy so far in this contest and the lactic acid development, coupled with the damage to her midsection earlier has slowed her down. She takes longer than a moment to regather her energy.
The ringing in the champions head becomes a dull thud and he takes the time to remember what is going on, he skips the pain, refusing to give in any further. Damn sure that Laurel Anne Hardy won’t be the one to take away all that he’s worked for. She runs forward and then does a cartwheel, and then a roundhouse to build speed or whatever, she’s a step away from charging into Jericho crashing through the table when suddenly he steps forward, head first.
The Hardcore Crown digs and stabs into the woman’s face lacerating her just above and below the eyes. The golden accessory smashes into the nose of the woman and locks his right arm into the ditch of his elbow around her left arm and neck and without stopping the woman’s forward generated momentum falls backwards executing a hellacious reverse Crimea River.
The table splinters into tiny pieces as Laurel goes through skull first, the crown digging more and more into her head as well. The pair lay covered in blood, both of them nearly unconscious on the canvas. A second “What the fuck” chant has spread its way through the arena and Jack Tickles digs both competitors out of the rubble to ensure that they’re actually alive. The two competitors rest side by side trying to recover from the trauma of the impact.
That’s it Champ!
Laurel Anne Hardy’s breath is about time and somehow she subconsciously whimpers in pain. It’s not much, but it’s just audible enough for The Jackal to perceive. Invigorated he crawls towards her, keeping his right arm close to his chest. His left hand digs through the chair splinters, feeling like that super gross scene from Saw 2 with the woman in the needle pit. He collapses on top of her, hoping to end the match. Jack Tickles finds a safe place in the ring and then administers the count. Matt Steel:
[b]Mark Sanction: I can’t believe it. Laurel Anne Hardy is just about indestructible.
Rose: Laurel only has a few losses on her record and each of those matches could have killed any other competitor.
Matt Steel: This bitch is basically The Terminator. If a girl could be The Terminator.
Mark Sanction: A girl has been the Terminator…Terminator 3
Matt Steel: Nigga, that one don’t count!
Rose: I’m actually going to agree with Matt here.
[center]Jericho Shaw is stunned that Laurel has managed to survive this much punishment. Olenna Tyrell (the Queen of Throns) once said that it is rare to meet someone who lives up to their reputation, but Laurel Anne Hardy certainly does. The Kingslayer gets to a vertical base, but slowly. The weight of the match has more than started to affect him. He breaths heavily, removing the Crown of Thorns from his skull and discarding it off to the side. Eventually Laurel too stands up. Looking like Carrie on prom night the World Heavyweight Champion notices something truly unsettling, despite all the carnage and the horror, she’s smiling. Innocently, like now…she’s having fun and that he’s a reasonable “dance partner”. Regardless of what you say about Jericho Shaw’s attitude and his technical proficiency, the young man has a unique penchant for violence. His match against Drake Dysfunction revealed a deep sadistic edge within the man. He shakes his head and clears the blood from his face and advances.
Laurel Anne Hardy lacks a real technical striking stance, so although she is southpaw she tends to stand pretty square. The champion throws out a weak jab…habit from his years of striking. Hardy takes the blow on the jaw but is un-phased. Jericho winces from the attack and quickly pulls it back. He this time throws a left and Laurel takes the shot on the chin but retaliates with a forearm strike and suddenly, it hits Jericho.
Not the forearm…but the fact that Laurel will always counter. Not technically, but instinctually!
The champion throws a long forward teep kick which connects hard against the sternum of the Hardcore Champion. As she’s pushed back two steps she immediately lunges forward as she does the champion dips his head off of the center line throwing a swift, powerful overhand left. The impact catches Laurel Anne Hardy flush utilizing her own forward momentum. Her skull jerks violently to the side as her legs immediately give out beneath her. Her brain synapses fire and shoot off like wildfire resetting her neural electrical system.
Kaboom! Laurel Anne Hardy is out!Rose:
Jericho knows! I can tell, he set that counter perfectly.Mark Sanction:
What do you mean Jericho knows, was this was you said earlier?Rose:
Yeah, Laurel’s weakness is that she didn’t perceive Jericho’s strikes as powerful…and I don’t know why but in combat sports we call that respecting a punch. Because she didn’t respect Jericho’s strikes she could counter off of all of them, until he set up something she would countered that. Matt Steel:
Yeah, what he said.Rose:
Jericho is able to utilize and adapt to his opponent…I can’t believe he came up with that.Mark Sanction:
Jericho Shaw isn’t almost 25-0 because he’s a pretty face. He can walk the walk too.
Jericho drops down for the cover and pin and Jack joins beside him.Mark Sanction:
[center][b]Once again Laurel’s ovarian fortitude proves too great and she wills herself back to life at just before the three count. Shaw sits up flabbergasted at the turn of events. He can’t even find it in himself to get up and shit tick Jack Tickles. He sighs heavily and labors to his feet, dragging the prone woman by hair and positioning her neck just past the middle turnbuckle, about to utilize his Jack Jackson-esque lucha technique.
Livin La’ Vida Leg Drop.
Once Hardy is there he turns around, not yet finished. He stumbles to the chair used to demolish his right and…and with his left hand grabs it by the seat. He staggers over to the woman, neck suspended past the rope and then places the chair underneath her chin. Resting it between her throat and the outer ring apron.
Oh my god.Rose:
- Matt Steel:
Let’s go champ! Rated X represent…take her head clean off! Deciptate her like an ISIS victim.Mark Sanction:
Whoa Matt, too far.
Jericho slowly climbs up to the top rope and perches Assassin’s Creed style. He’s certainly dizzy, and suffering from blood loss but the movement is ingrained in him. He pops up and begins the shooting star maneuver. He finishes the rotation, arcing his leg out like a guillotine. He smiles gleefully about to deliver a tremendous amount of pain on the woman. However, at the very last second, Laurel slithers back into the ring pulling the chair underneath the rope. Jericho Shaw hit
s the hard ring apron tailbone first and then the impact shunts straight up through his spine!Mark Sanction:
This could be it.
Laurel Anne Hardy shoots a massive grin, satisfied with the attempt and creativity of the violent display. To show her appreciation she swings the chair striking the World Heavyweight Champion straight in the maw! Jericho falls straight backwards glassy eyed. She drags him by the arm inside the ring and then decides to end this match. She swings both arms outward and screams at the top of her lungs.Mark Sanction:
Hardy’s got bad intentions right now folks!Rose:
I think I know what that means Matt Steel:
Shaw’s alright, he’s just playing possum.
[/center][/b]Laurel Anne Hardy also slow moving careens up to the very top turnbuckle preparing to bounce. Irrational, deranged thoughts flow through her skull and out through the holes in her forehead. He hops into the air matching Jericho for “shooting-star” ability. She twists and twirls like a psychopathic ballerina as she points the tip of her elbow downward, hoping to drive the ribcage of the Kingslayer into his heart.[/center][/b]
Stronger than Dirt!Rose:
The winning streak is over! Matt Steel:
Already in position for the pin Jack Tickles immediately drops down, sensing the urgency of the attack. The crowd holds their breath, too afraid to move in fear it would rattle the The Undefeated Juggernaut back to life.Mark Sanction:
Miraculously Jericho Shaw manages to lift a shoulder off of the mat and breaks the count milliseconds before it would end. For the first time in the match Laurel Anne Hardy is shocked, and a little impressed. She sits, gathering her energy together which by this point in the match is definitely in short supply. She nods erratically to herself not of options yet. In the background the crowd has begun a hearty stream of cheering and applause in hopes to assist her. She finally stands up and strikes the pose on her official XWA.com biography page. She kicks the prone body of Jericho Shaw onto his stomach and then sits between his shoulder blades.
Jericho isn’t safe yet, this is the Doors of Perception. If this gets locked in it’s over for sure.Rose:
I don’t know how it’s already not over!
Laurel Anne sits down straddling Jericho’s shoulder blades and grabs his forearms. Her legs lock his head in place and immediately the submission attack takes hold. The pain in his shoulders is all at once unbearable and the thought of tapping out crosses his mind. He wiggles and writes forward doing his best to try and squirm out, but it’s no use, Laurel Anne Hardy has been attack this submission maneuver on larger men for years now.Mark Sanction:
She leans back activating her core and the torque on Jericho’s rotator cuffs becomes massive, images of his defenses flash through his mind. More than twenty of them, and it all comes down to this. His teeth grind together as he resists the backward force of his arms. He won’t quit, he’d rather die. He feels the sinew and ligament feel like it’s tearing inside of his arms but he can’t give in.
If Shaw doesn’t tap this could ruin his career!Rose:
Agreed, take the loss son…you’ll come back stronger. Matt Steel:
Jericho can still win this!
Jericho’s closes his eyes and tucks his chin low into the mat, he has only one chance to make this work. The woman’s weight is leaned backwards almost off of him completely. His toes plant against the canvas and his knees bend slightly. Laurel at this time is so preoccupied with the submission that she doesn’t even realize the slight changes in Shaw’s positioning as a calculated response. All at once he rolls all 219 pounds of desperate World Heavyweight Champion. Now this is risky because if her grip is strong despite the roll, he risks separating both shoulders. Matt Steel:
Her hands are like vice grips as he vaults forward, and in one solid motion he feels his right shoulder pop…but immediately after she pulls and the sweat from both competitors loosens the grip freeing his left him. Jericho’s body mass monkey rolls right over the woman and as he stands up freed of the hold a new instinct sets in. He’s sure she’ll turn around, she’s too curious not too.
As she turns around she sees the champion take a sideways hop towards her…and she’s seen this twice before. This new Breakdown Superkick to the face. Shaw makes you look like he’s going to the leg but goes high…oldest trick in the book. Laurel’s tried and trusty instincts tell her the kick is going high and to counter that once it hits. Laurel straightens her hips up and gets ready to react to the face shot.
However, as Shaw takes the step and his knee positions low, it is not actually going high and as Laurel’s hips and knees straighten she takes the Breakdown superkick directly on to her extended knee joint. Her knee jerks backwards immediately hyper exetending, if not tearing the major ligaments near her patella. Her hips rock backward from the impact and she immediately drops down to her knee, her leg completely dead
BREAKDOWN 3.0!Mark Sanction:
I don’t believe it! Jericho with the conterRose:
Jericho walks behind the woman, his right arm dangling helplessly to the side and grabs a handful of bloodstained brunette hair. A strange flow of thoughts travel through her brain, as she is at this point incapable of standing and will probably be recipient of The Kingslayer, er- Queenslayer. Mark Sanction:
If it’s so dangerous to them…would it be dangerous to me?
Jericho takes a slow satisfying breath, savoring the moment and although his grip his different the mechanics are the same. Instead of the Thai Plum he grabs her hair from the kneeling position and drives her head backwards into the point of his kneecap. All at once, The Hardcore Queen, Laurel Anne Hardy is violently removed from consciousness. Jericho Shaw, scowling in agony places a boot on the chest of the woman instigating the pin. Jack Tickles, drops down hoping that it’s over.
Shaw with the pin!Rose:
What a match! Matt Steel:
I told you, I told the both of you.Mark Sanction:
We have just witnessed a classic!
Immediately after the bell the three count rings Jericho raises his good arm in the air demanding his World Heavyweight Championship. As it’s handed to him, he makes his way out of ring. Crazy In Love begins to slowly echo in the background of the arena. EMT’s have rushed down the ramp and into the ring assisting the Hardcore Champion. They attempt to give the World Heavyweight Champion immediate medical attention…but the victory is all the attention he needs.
[b]Hana Ramierez: Your winner, and still undefeated. Jericho Shaw!
-Fade to Black-