XWA Massacre: Vespertine vs. Richard Head

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Vespertine
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Location: San Francisco, Ca
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XWA massacre # 36: Vespertine vs. Richard Head

Postby Vespertine » Thu Sep 13, 2018 6:27 am

OOC: So I'm going to assume this isn't an important one as Richard is just enhancement talent and I didn't see it in the "Get In the Ring" column but someone said they wanted to see my work and what I do so I'mma posting it anyway. I'll put in colors and such but I'm leaving bolds, italics and underlines and not centering it at all. I'm saving that for later works. Anyway, here goes.


Tempest: Already in the ring, prompt as usual. Richard Head.

Matt Steel: Yep, the Jimmy Fallon Wannabe. Just couldn't wait to get his head kicked in by newbie Vespertine.

Tempest: Vespertine isn't really a newbie. She has been all around the world.

Matt Steel: Have you ever seen her wrestle before?

Tempest: Not here but she has wrestled in Japan, Britain, Mexico and the US and has now come to us here in Chicago, at XWA.

Matt Steel: So she hasn't wrestled here in XWA. Yep! Newbie in my book.

Tempest: Whatevs.

(the last notes of "You're the Best" fade away from the loudspeakers.)

Tempest: Well we'll have to see how well she does tonight. She's up next and first.

(the sound of a Japanese flute starts out playing quietly over the loudspeakers and the lights go down. The Tron comes up and we see two armies standing face to face on a battlefield. The flute continues playing and the camera on the Tron gets closer to the two armies. The camera cuts scene...)

(the camera cuts back to a scene of two armies. The Japanese flute plays louder. Both armies are huge and they are an army of shogun, ronin, and samurai. As the army walks forward a single figure comes into view and emerges from the line. The figure raises their sword and as one the entire army stops. The figure runs forward and gets atop a boulder to look out. The camera goes over their shoulder and we see the other army standing as a wall in the distance. The figure/leader takes off their helmet and long black hair tumbles out from it and flows all around, sometimes waving and weaving in places where the wind catches it. The figure turns and looks at the army behind them and we see it is Vespertine. She raises her sword and roars in fury. Camera cuts scene...)

(camera cuts to scene of her army raising their own swords and shouting in fury. The camera pans back quickly and she does the motion of "go forward with her sword and the camera goes up and we see her entire army run forward to join in the fray below. As the two armies join in the fray, the scene fades and now as she makes her way to the ring we see pictures of Vespertine wrestling.)

(The flute goes low and then "Undefeated" by SKillet starts up and the spotlights in the arena come up and we see a lone figure standing at the top of the ramp. One arm is raised and we see it is Vespertine and she is standing facing the entrance curtains. She spins around rather quickly and at the end of the turn she points at the audience where upon a couple of pyros go off on each side of her. She stands at the top of the ramp looking around at the audience. Then suddenly she reaches her hands out to them as if to encompass their souls and fire pillar pyros go off behind her. She saunters down to the ring, stepping in time to the music. She wears black wrestling leggings, a black wrestling sports top with purple sequins which reveals her midriff and abs, black wrestling boots, elbow and knee pads. She also wears her black trenchcoat duster and black sunglasses. She slides in underneathe the ropes, takes off her sunglasses and looks around at various spots in the audience with a narrow feral cat like look in her eyes and slightly licks her lips. She has on heavy glitter around her eyes and a heavy dark turquoise black (or other color) eyeliner. She crawls seductively like a cat to the other side of the ring and then suddenly jumps up and spreads her arms out and lands in an X like pattern where upon at each corner of the ring, showers of sparks come flying out. As this goes on, she screams (Melina style) at the top of her lungs.) She then looks around, and takes off her trenchcoat duster and sunglasses and and gives it to a person outside the ring and goes to stretch on the ropes until the match starts yet not taking her eyes off of Richard Head who blows her a kiss. She smiles menancingly.


Matt Steel: NOW that is an entrance. WOW!

Tempest: You're impressed already.

Matt Steel: I am not. I was just commenting on the entrance.

Hana Ramirez: And making her way to the ring. Hailing from San Francisco, Ca, at 5'5, she is Elegance Personified and a Well Rounded FIghting Machine, making her debut: VESPERTINNNNNNNNNNEEEEE!!!!

(the crowd gives a weak mixed reaction as they don't know what to think of her yet. Still there are some die hard fans who either hate or love her who have seen her wrestle before in other places and they cheer or boo the loudest.)

Hana Ramirez: This match is scheduled for one fall and it's standard match. The first person to submit or gets pinned wins the match.

(The bell rings)

(Vespertine turns full on around to stare at Richard who is smirking at her. She then lets out the loudest feral Melina type scream she can possibly muster up. This causes Richard to jump a little bit and look around to see where the wild things are. There are a few screams back from the audience. When he realizes what she did, he screams right back at her. She raises an eyebrow)

Tempest: Well...that was... something.

Matt Stone: Was that it? Is that all she's got?

Tempest: The match just started. It's not finished.

Matt Stone: But screaming isn't a move. It's...well... screaming. I can scream. You can scream. He can scream. We all can scream for-

Tempest: Don't even say it.

Matt Stone: Ice cream. (Tempest puts a hand to this temple and groans) Yep! I went there.

(Richard goes towards Vespertine and stands in front of her. She says something that the cameras can't pick up and he slaps her across the face. She looks to the side holding her jaw and when she looks back at him, she has evil daggers in her eyes.)

Tempest: She doesn't look very happy.

Matt Stone: Would you be if someone slapped you that way.

Tempest: Probably not.

(Vespertine whirls into action and kicks him in the midsection, he doubles over in, she then does the splits right in front of him and thrusts upward catching his throat. He grabs at his throat and staggers back in pain. The referee goes over to admonish her for having done so.)

Matt Stone: Wow. I love when a woman opens herself like that. Too bad she dosn't have shorts or a skirt on. I would've loved the view.

Tempest: Really? You saw what she just did to Richard and that is all you can talk about?

Matt Stone: Yep. I'm that type of man.

Tempest: Indeed.

(Vespertine whirls up, runs the ropes and rebounds towards Richard. He sees it coming and goes for a clothesline but she ducks under it. She rebounds off the rope again and when she tries for a flying cross body block, he drops to the mat and she goes crashing behind him. He gets up quickly, goes over, picks her up and attempts a European Uppercut on her. She takes it and staggers backwards. He then does a one two Rocky Balboa punch and she hits the mat in a sort of daze. He then goes for the cover.)

Matt Stone: Oh that was hard. It's over for her. Well Vespertine. It's been nice knowing you.

(The referee goes over to count.)

1....


2....


(At 2, she kicks out, rather vehemently and Richard looks at her surprised. He goes to cover her again.)


1...

(At 1 and a half she kicks out again. He gets off of her, gets up and slaps her across the head. He grabs her by the hair, picks her up and whips her into the corner using all his weight and momentum. She hits hard and slowly turns around. He sees this, gets a full head of steam and charges in to try a Stinger Splash. At the last second, she escapes and he hits hard and backs up, clutches his chest and yelps in pain. She sees this, runs and administers a Floatover DDT.)

Matt Stone: Wow! She is good. Guess all those years in other feds and countries really paid off.

Tempest: Oh. NOW you're impressed. Where were you like two minutes ago?

Matt Stone: We must not be watching the same match.

Tempest: Oh we are definitely watching the same match.

(She picks him up and whips him into the ropes. She runs the opposite way and when she is near the ropes she executes a perfect off the rope rebound cross body block. She hits him hard but he somehow manages to roll through. He gets on top of her and pins her grbbing the ropes for leverage. THe referee starts to count but sees his hands on his ropes and tells him to stop. He lets go which gives her the opportunity to kick out. They both get up and he slaps her across the chest. She rebounds in pain but slaps him across the chest too. They go back and forth for a time before he turns them into two Rocky Balboa punches. After the second one, she blocks it and then kicks him in the midsection. He doubles over and she does a sunset flip to try and get him down. He stumbles and whirls his arms around a bit before going over onto his back. She pins him. The referee starts the count.


1...


2...


(Richard kicks out at 2 and a half.)

Matt Stone: What is he doing? Isn't he usually better than this.

Tempest: Who? Richard Head? Are we still watching the same match? Better question yet? Do we know the same guy?

Matt Stone: Richard Head. Enhancement Talent. Stepping Stone to greatness. I believe we are.

Tempest: Stepping stone to great...? What? Did you watch her promo then? You ARE impressed.

Matt Stone: Getting there.


(She picks him up and executes a running bulldog on him. He lands with a hard thud on the mat. She looks around and goes over to the nearest turnbuckle and climbs it. He slowly gets up. When she is up top, he slowly stands and wobbles about. She smiles and points at him.)

Matt Stone: High risk. Right here. Whatever she is thinking it's going to beautiful.

Tempest: Like you know what she is thinking. Like you said before. She is a newbie.

Matt Stone: But you are already impressed by her.

Tempest: I'm not. I just call em like I see em.

Matt Stone: Sure. And if you believe that I got swamp land to sell you around Chicago here.

Tempest: But there really is swamp land around-

Matt Stone: SHHH! Don't burst my moment, you idiot.

(She jumps up and out into a spinning hurricarana and on the end of it, she launches him across the ring. She kips up but waits for him to do the same. He eventually gets up and wobbles around and then looks around trying to figure out where she is. She runs towards him and executes a perfect Codebreaker to the back but instead of letting him go, she twists and locks on a reverse bow and arrow lock position.)

Matt Stone: No wonder she is called Elegance Personified. A Well Rounded Fighting Machine.

Tempest: I believe that right there is what she calls "Breaking the Bank."

Matt Stone: A codebreaker turned into a reverse bow and arrow lock. Oh man! I'm loving this chick. Do you think she'll give me her number after the match.

Tempest: I highly doubt it but you can delude yourself into believing it.

(It looks like Head is about to tap out when she lets go. He rolls off and groans in pain. She goes over and grabs his face near the ropes and starts talking to him. This time the cameras pick it up and we hear her say:

V: NO! You aren't getting off that easy. You are my stepping stone. Watch, learn and die...by...diva!

(She rubs his face along the bottom rope and we can hear him yelp in pain.)

Matt Stone: OOOH! That's gotta hurt. That's vicious.

Tempest: I believe that, that was her theme song at one point.

Matt Stone: She should've ended it. He was about to tap. This is just uncalled for. What gives her the right to- (stops in midsentence. Changes ideas) I thought she was going to be another Angelica Vaughn. You know another blonde airhead goodie two shoes. I see why Emery hates her. Man, she just gets under my skin with her blonde hair and sundresses and her giggling all the time and acting as if she were some stupid escort walking down Rodeo Drive. I mean she-

Tempest: Matt! Matt! MATT! Focus! On! The Match!

Matt Stone: Right. Evil chick. In the ring. Beating up Jimmy Fallon wannabe. Gotta love it.

Tempest: Well that's one way to describe it.

(She finishes and backs off. He climbs to the second rope and stays there to catch his breathe. She looks around and smiles wickedly. She screams out in fury then runs to the far ropes, rebounds back, goes through the ropes and executes the first half of a West Coast Pop. He rolls back into the ring and as he rolls around in pain, she waits on the outside of the ropes for him to get up. He struggles to get up but when he is up he staggers around and then falls to the mat again. She raises an eyebrow. Instead of finishing the last half of the West Coast Pop, she launches herself over the rope and executes a one leg slam right onto his neck. She stays sitting on top of him.)

Tempest: Well now. That is interesting.

Matt Stone: What? What is?

Tempest: Well you know how she started out doing a West Coast Pop but unfortunately for Richard, he couldn't get up and keep it up which means that she couldn't execute the rest of the Pop.

Matt Stone: Yeah. (brightens suddenly) OHHHHHHH!!!

Tempest: Yeah see, she improvised. She turned it into a ome leg slam. Interesting. She thinks on her feet. I think, given the right opponent, given the right circumstances, she and whoever her rival is in XWA here is, they could put on a good clinic.

Matt Stone: You're right. She is showing off her skills because all this is, is an exhibition match of sorts for her.

Tempest: But don't count Richard out yet.

(She gets up and goes over to the turnbuckle and climbs up, looks around, does the Lita finger gun thing then jumps into the air going for a 450 splash. At the last second though, Richard puts his knees up and catches her in the stomach. SHe rolls around on the mat in pain. He slowly crawls over to her and puts an arm over her. The referee goes over and starts the 3 count. At 1 and a half she kicks out.)

Matt Stone: So in your opinion, who do you think could be her biggest and best rival here.

Tempest: That's hard to say, we have a lot of exceptional talent here in XWA but among the women it has to be Albion Gale, Emery Layton or Kaida Gagome

Matt Stone: Yeah but look beyond that. Do you think she can go toe to toe with the men too, say for example, AJ Morales. Head here doesn't count.

Tempest: Without a doubt but we will have to see. It doesn't look like she is doing good right now.

Matt Stone: Wait. When did we switch roles and you became bad cop and I'm good cop. (pause) On the other hand, maybe this will get me her phone number faster.

Tempest: And that is all you think about?

(Richard gets up, looks around and then spies the turnbuckle and drags her over to the corner, climbs up and looks down at her with a crooked grin.)

Tempest: Greatest of All Time. From the top turnbuckle.

Matt Stone: Don't tell he is going to try and outdo her with that. I smell failure!

Tempest: Looks like he is. (sniffs) Oh, so that is what failure smells like.

(Richard jumps up and doesn't sort of fly down to the ring as he more of plummets towards it. She rolls out of the ring at the last second and he hits hard, right on his butt. He rolls around in the ring, holding his ass in pain. She takes a little time to compose herself on the outside and then she gets up and rolls back into the ring. He slowly gets up and when he is facing her, she nails a Roundhouse kick right to his temple. He goes down hard to the mat. She looks around, spies the ropes, runs towards them, rebounds off and adminsters a nice Lionsault but doesn't cover him.)

Tempest: That should be it right there. Why is she not covering him?

Matt Stone: I don't know. Maybe she wants to dish out a little more pain.

Tempest: Enough is enough. He's had it. She's tired. End the match. End... the... match!

Matt Stone: Looks like she's got a little more in the tank than he does. Maybe she'll be good to go at my place afterwards.

Tempest: Oh would you stop! I don't think she'll be giving you her number anytime soon.

(Vespertine picks up Richard and sets him up. In a whirl of motion, she attempts her Osaka Street Cutter and at the end of it, he stands up straight, wobbles around a bit then falls flat on his face.)

Tempest: I believe she calls that one "Death by Diva".

Matt Stone: About damn time too. I don't think Richard can take anymore and she is taking way too long to put him away.

(She covers Richard and the referee sees this and goes for the three count)


1


2


3.


(Richard weakly kicks out at 3 and a half and the referee holds her hand up in victory.)

Tempest: Well I must say that was quite a match. I see good things for her future here in XWA.

Matt Stone: Tell me about it. She won her first big, uh, little, uh, just a standard match. Against enhancement talent Richard Head which anybody can put away, even you Tempest.

Tempest: Thank you. I think.

Hana Ramirez: Here is your winner: VESPERTINNNNNEEEEE!!!

Matt Stone: Do you also see her giving me her number when she gets backstage. I wonder how good she is in the-

Tempest: WOULD YOU STOP! Remember #Metoomovement! Don't turn me into a Jim Ross now. Anyway, we need to move on to the next match.

(Commercial break)

OOC: And comment if you like, but since this wasn't under an offical post, you don't have to if you don't want to. I just wanted to show a bit of my work. lol
You will feel death... by... Diva


Opponents Defeated
- Richard Head
- Lynx
- "Gokuda" Kaida Kagome, Matriarch of Clan Kagome


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Dan
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Re: XWA massacre # 36: Vespertine vs. Richard Head

Postby Dan » Thu Sep 13, 2018 6:46 pm

A few tips:

- We have Mark Sanction doing play-by-play commentary for Massacre, not Matt Steel.

- Matt Stone is the co-creator of South Park. :swink:

- Tempest is very much a face, as silly as he is.

- Not sure where Emery hating Angelica came from, as I don't know if I've ever actually seen them interact.

- I get that this is the XWA with all these characters, but when writing your match, try to focus on the relevant characters IE you and your opponent. None of the other characters mentioned have ever actually interacted with Vespertine here. I'm not saying don't reference other people, but I'd say read up on them and get to know the characters first.

- Tempest is the very first XWA grand slam champion and is still a legitimate badass. Matt Steel is a glorified hypeman for the heels. I don't see Steel calling Tempest any names like idiot unless he's joking or without Tempest giving him the side-eye or something.

- Try not to reference the pic base for the character in the match. I know Richard Head uses Jimmy Fallon and he's a jobber, but if I were facing you and you called Dan Bennett an Edward Norton-wannabe, I would be a little off-put by it.

- Also, try to avoid referencing real life wrestling stuff. Almost like WWE, where they don't recognize other companies, we try to pretend that the real life stuff doesn't exist for the most part. Other e-feds are fine, but referencing places like WWE, TNA, etc, is a little taboo. Maybe I'm alone in feeling like that, but that's how I've always looked at it.


Other than those things, it's a pretty solid first effort. You gave Richard Head more offense than I've ever seen him get, and still Vespertine came out looking pretty dominant. Nice work.
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Vespertine
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Re: XWA massacre # 36: Vespertine vs. Richard Head

Postby Vespertine » Thu Sep 13, 2018 7:35 pm

Doh sorry! I didn't see that I changed Steel to Stone until you mentioned it. As I kept reading it over, it looked find to me. Thank you for the feedback. Every federation is different and I have been out of this for a few years. I'll try to look everyone up as I come against them. I tried to make Tempest as face as possible and Matt Stone/Steel/Mark Sanction as Tazz/Jerry Lawler as possible but a bit more face-ish. Other than that, how was the commentary. Was that ok? Was that too much? Should I add more?
You will feel death... by... Diva


Opponents Defeated
- Richard Head
- Lynx
- "Gokuda" Kaida Kagome, Matriarch of Clan Kagome


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User avatar
Dan
XWA Hall of Famer
XWA Hall of Famer
Posts: 5259
Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:05 pm
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Characters Handled: Dan Bennett

Re: XWA massacre # 36: Vespertine vs. Richard Head

Postby Dan » Thu Sep 13, 2018 9:07 pm

Vespertine wrote:Doh sorry! I didn't see that I changed Steel to Stone until you mentioned it. As I kept reading it over, it looked find to me. Thank you for the feedback. Every federation is different and I have been out of this for a few years. I'll try to look everyone up as I come against them. I tried to make Tempest as face as possible and Matt Stone/Steel/Mark Sanction as Tazz/Jerry Lawler as possible but a bit more face-ish. Other than that, how was the commentary. Was that ok? Was that too much? Should I add more?



Amount of commentary was fine, IMO. As long as it makes sense and doesn't flood out the match too too much, commentary can be what length you want it to be.

Just one thing to remember, and it may be a me thing more than anything, but you actually don't have to post your match immediately. If you feel like you want to, like you've aced it and it's ready to go, that's perfectly fine, but if you have time before the deadline, it's a good idea to hold off on it, read through it a few times the next day and maybe even the day after, make sure your match has good pacing and structure, making sure you give the proper amount of selling and feeling to each moment that deserves it, especially on the Supershow matches that have no word limit. That's something that not a lot of people have the luxury of having, but I see you write very quickly, and I think that's something that can help you improve that much more.

Like I said about your match though, it's pretty solid. I like that you didn't just squash Richard Head and actually made it into a match, and the commentary, despite the little tips I provided about it, was pretty solid. I'm actually eager to see what you do against Lynx this week.
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