Feedback: Did You See That? (Massacre #50)

Post your feedback for any matches, promos, Beyond the BattleZone posts or...heck, anything written by other XWAers here. This is a great place for constructive criticism, reactions and overall thoughts on the stuff YOU write!
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Rob Chapman
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Feedback: Did You See That? (Massacre #50)

Postby Rob Chapman » Mon Aug 12, 2019 11:54 pm

http://www.xwabattlezone.com/XWA/viewto ... 360#p55360

Comments and critique are always appreciated. Particularly the latter, as it's been a very long time since I've done a promo like this.
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Rob Chapman (RETIRED)
Win/Loss Record (2005 - 2018) | 74 - 48 - 2
Win/Loss Record (Final Run) | 2 - 2 - 0

Ethan Cross
Win/Loss Record (Previous Run) | 0 - 3 - 0

Jace Albright
Win/Loss Record (Current Run) | 6 - 3 - 0
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GiggityGopher
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Re: Feedback: Did You See That? (Massacre #50)

Postby GiggityGopher » Thu Aug 15, 2019 2:37 am

The beginning felt a bit strange, just because his tone seemed, as it was written, excited, but hype and, overall, a positive tone, but then he was more-so in an angry state, still hype, but with what felt like a very different tone in a very short span of time. Which may be the point or maybe I just didn't quite get the right tone out of the opening part, but, honestly, it's more of a nitpicking kind of thing than anything because I felt the need to try to say something outside of just praising this promo.

Now, with that out of the way, omg, angry determined Jace is so good. I enjoy that, while he's pissed and bitter, he doesn't come across as a heel. He still feels like a face because his bitter attitude is earned, there's nothing artificial about it. He's just tired of being overlooked and he's determined to make sure that no longer happens.

And now that I've read the very end, I take back the nitpicky bit I complained about above because I get it and I love it and goddamnit there went my one mild complaint.
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